Monday, July 21, 2008

Photo entry

Hi everyone. Last weekend we went to our Pow Wow, I took some pictures but mostly of my girls not the dancers like I did last year. The girls bought my hubby the coolest blanket for his birthday from there. It has bears, and wolves on it and is SO soft and warm.

Friday was my hubbies birthday and he had gotten a terrible toothache 2 days before. We got him on some antibiotic's and he was better by his birthday but then I woke up the morning of his birthday with a TERRIBLE abcessed tooth! I went to my doctors and they gave me some antibiotics and some pain pills for the weekend. My poor hubby had the lamest birthday! I was crawling out of my skin in pain until the pills started working. My left side of my face was so swollen! Thank goodness the infection has gotten better now and the swelling has went down because I have a dentist apptointment in an hour and a half and they will hopefully be able to fix the tooth so that doesn't happen again. I told hubby he started  a trend! First him, then me, then his best friend (my cousin, my sons godfather) called Saturday night at 1AM dying because his tooth had cracked, then my daughter came home from her dad's Sunday and she had a cracked tooth. We DO brush our teeth many times a day and floss and all that good stuff I swear!! lol

Yesterday we spent about 9 hours in the car, we dropped my daughter Rayanna off for her camp at this awesome Christian Camp for the week. She signed up for the Teepee session this year and will share the teepee with 7 other girls and there is also another teepee for 8 boys. They all prepare the meals together as a group, they do eveything from this little campsite that is set up specifically for the Teepees. There is also a treehouse site that they have all their challenges against all week long. So we left the cities to head down to the camp and arrived about 30 minutes early because you stand in line way less if your early. We got all her stuff in the trailer and walked with her and Josh to the teepee site to check it out. She is camping lol! My god it was hot out and the bugs for being the middle afternoon were crazy! Thank goodness we bought her a big can of bug spray!! I hope she is having a blast! I will post the pictures that I took at the end of the entry. We hung out there for about an hour and then at campers welcome time I brought her to her group and counselor and we headed off another almost 2 hours to pick up my daughter Lexi who is spending the week here. On the way home we stopped at Olive Garden and had dinner.

I think that alerts are not working (BIG SURPRISE!! lol) because even on my tag journal only a few people have stopped by.

Speaking of my hubby, after he left that night he actually showed up back home at 3:30 AM and just held me. Life has been so hard lately! Well honestly it is always hard but since that stuff happened at my moms it has been really stressful!

I wanted to tell everyone who commented on my LONGGG entry about my past, thanks for the comments! I know some said it sounded like a horror movie. You know what is strange to me, I have just lived life one day at a time and always swore to myself to do things differently when I became a mother. There is NOTHING I wouldn't do to protect my kids and to give them constant love and stability every day of their lives. To me because it is the only life I have known it was all I knew as life. I cannot say that I have never been envious of what some would call the typical all american family, yet on the same note through all the hurt and abuse my family meaning my mom, and siblings have always been my life. Which is why I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that my mother could hurt my kids and I the way she did. To me there is no excuse, it is unexcusable. I guess all these years later I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and kept going. There have been times I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out but it truly has never been an option. Years ago I got past what my dad did to me. I have never forgotten, I just moved on because I had to in order for me to be ok as a grown up. I am more angry at my father for being a coward. I am angry that as an adult when I started dealing with the hurt and abuse he wasn't here for me to confront.

Am I scarred? Sure I am in many ways. But I have decided that I am the one that can break the cycle and I am the one who can make sure my kids never have to deal with what I had to deal with my whole childhood and adult years. I am the the only one with the power to protect them, and love them the way that children deserve to be loved. Even if that means walking away from the only family I have ever known to make sure my kids never have to see how mean and nasty real life can be. Everyone deals with forms of abuse differently and I have never (well maybe not never) let myself be a victim. I cannot change the things that have happened to me but do know that they have made me one of the most loving, caring and compassionate people you could ever meet. I have chose to not let it make me a bitter, uncaring person.

Well I should end this now and post the pictures and get ready to go to the dentist. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Love & Hugs, Robyn

Pics from the Pow Wow........My superstars lol

 


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That boy liked them lol!
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Ne here is the stand we got Katie's whistles at ;)
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You cannot read it but the girls and I all got these hoodies from a company called "American Indian Beauty Clothing Company, Rez Dog clothing co." they say...... "I am an Indian woman, I am strong, I am soft, I am the Indian experience. My people have suffered hardships beyond what I can imagine, But they survived and persevered. And so will I. Never underestimate the power of an Indian woman!


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Doesn't he look like a future stick up kid?? lmao he was so cute!
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I was trying to get pics of her beads
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My brother ( HE has been SOBER for just over 3 weeks!! Go big brother ;)!!!)
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2 comments:

pprrrr39 said...

Robyn
The pictures are fantastic........ such beautiful things.
I hope that you and your hubby can work things out.......... you have been through an immense amount of things and it cannot be easy for either one of you. Keeping you on my prayers
hugs Jayne

rebarks said...

Robyn,
I am awed reading your journal. You are such a remarkable woman. To break the cycle of abuse and to go through what you have in your past and present takes such courage. Thanks for sharing this with your readers. We can all learn alot from you.
((Hugs,))
Barb

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