Monday, March 31, 2008

50 degrees yesterday??

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So yesterday it was 50 degrees and I opened a couple windows. Today we are in a blizzard! It is supposed to snow through tomorrow. ALL of the snow had just melted. Good thing though is it will not stay for long, and it should be the last snowfall this year.

My sister in law is home now and doing great! My mom got tickets to go to Idol Gives Back. She really wanted me to go with her, and I also wanted to go to see my daughter, but I had to pass for April since we are going to be moving into our new place. We decided to wait until May 1st to move so that the weather will be better, and we will have more than a week to get ready lol. Either way I am so excited to be back into our own house and I cannot wait to decorate and go through all of my stuff. Do you know how many times in the last 10 months I have said while needing something, "We have one of those, IN storage" lol. It has became a running joke with my mom she always replies with "let me guess, it's in storage?". I have done really good though only buying what we absolutely needed so that we don't end up with two of everything. It got so screwy the last couple days we werepacking in our old house, because we found that house we were going to move into and it all fell through in the end. So the last few days we stopped sorting and started packing everything to go since we thought we would have access to it within a couple days. At first we were keeping stuff out that we knew we would need while we looked for a new house and that stopped when we found the house we thought we would be moving into. So then when it fell through and we had to get three storage units to store our stuff it was to hard to pick through everything. We decided we would be ok without it all for awhile. Well awhile turned into almost a year and we do have doubles of some stuff. Other stuff like a crock pot (I have 3 in storage) I ended up borrowing from my mom because I use it to cook so often. I told my mom if she needed it back just to let me know that I would run it over to her. So what does she do? She goes and buys the exact one and now will have two lol

Somehow I just got really sidetracked! So back to my mom, she is so excited to be going to Idol Gives Back. The tickets cost an arm and a leg but they will be on the main level and the seats are pretty good. I am happy for her that she gets to go because I know she was really hoping she could. If Idol keeps having this benefit concert every year I think it will probably be something that we will all start going to each year.

This last couple weeks have been crazy for me. So much going on, so much to remember, and I have to sit back and breathe now and then and relax. Sometime's I have a hard time understanding how it is that as the mother/woman in my household I have so much responsibility on my shoulders versus the man in this household.  I sometime's feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and without me here making sure we all have toilet paper to use, medications filled, doctor's appointments made and gone to, bills paid, calls to be made, moving to be handled, food to eat, cars taken care of, cleaning to be done, school stuff to get and events to remember, pets food, lightbulbs, filters to be changed, vacuum bags to be bought, clothes, shoes, jackets, hats, mittens, ect to be bought, trips to be planned, and then my other families stuff that they need help and support with. I truly could go on and on either way my point is when we became mothers why is it that all of this was put on me?? Am I complaining?? I don't know maybe a little. Maybe I am not the only one who has to do so much in the big picture compared to my hubby, then maybe I am?

I just get overwhelmed and tired sometimes that is all. It is that simple. I have some pretty serious medical stuff possibly going on with me and I could REALLY vent about some feelings I have about that but am not going to. I will just say that it is all very real and sometimes I just have to let it go to appease (spelling?) some in my life. Wether it is Kidney Disease or wether it is something else it is troubling to me and I try to just act like it isn't because I don't feel like I have a choice sometimes. My symptoms are so troublesome in certain aspects of my life and make things not as easy as they used to be, I will just leave it at that. I bet there is someone reading my journal that will know what it is I am talking about. I worry a bit about being open and honest about it which is why I am being so vague in details. I am just TIRED let's just say that :)

I cannot wait for it to warm up! I cannot wait to go to the cabin and fish and sit on the beach with my kids. I cannot wait to go to the Pow Wows this summer. I have ALOT to do before real relaxtion starts though since we are getting ready to move. I can imagine though ;)

I hope everyone is doing well!

Love & Hugs, Robyn

Friday, March 28, 2008

Get wells for my SIL!

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Hi everyone my SIL went to the doctors today because she had been in alot of pain since yesterday and found out she had Appendicitis. They did a CT on her at 5:45 to make sure that is what was going on and admitted her immediately and took her Apendix out. She was out of surgery around 9:15 and in recovery. We got to go up and see her a little after 10 once they got her into her room. She is doing good all things considering. Everyone stop by and say hi to her :) She will love to see all the well wishes when she gets home!

Hugs, Robyn

http://journals.aol.com/silvershivazero/Shivas_space/

 

Thursday, March 27, 2008

We found a house ;) Lots of pictures

So after being in furnished housing with all of our stuff in storage we found a house and we are moving in! 14 days from now we will have all of our own stuff back and I cannot wait!

It is a brand new never been lived in house about 30 minutes from where we are at now. It is a side of Mpls that I have never lived in or near. The house is 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, about 3200 square feet. It is the corner house so there is only one neighbor.

It is absolutely beautiful! It is rambler style so 3 bedrooms are on the main level, and the other two are downstairs. I am going to add a bunch of pictures BUT some of them are sideways and I cannot figure out how to turn them so your gonna have to get a neck ache to view them lol.

I just realized my lens must have been dirty or something taking the pictures because there is spots on every picture lol. That's ok you can at least see them.

Hugs, Robyn


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Some of you ladies might like this one ;) (Maybe some AC to some?)

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
 
Men are like.... 
 
1. Men are like ..Laxatives .... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like..Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like.. Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like..  Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like.. Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like.. Commercials    ..... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like.. Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ..Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like.. Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like.. Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like..  Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like.. Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Simple cool thought ;)

Photobucket Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Hugs, Robyn

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Update and lots of pictures

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Hi everyone just checking in since it has been awhile since my last entry. I am going to add some pics of random stuff here also ;)

I got sick again last week after my daughter spent the weekend here and came sick. My mom & sister were supposed to be leaving for LA again yesterday and my sister ended up having to go without her. My mom called on Saturday and was SO sick! I picked her up and took her to the doctor's. She has this Influenza crud going around. She caught it in time that she was able to get Tamiflu so hopefully she will get to feeling better soon. She considered going tomorrow but decided against that yesterday because she is still feeling pretty rough. She also had Gout and she seemed to be convinced it was something Diabetic related, or MS related and thought there was nothing she could do to treat it. I convinced her otherwise and she went and found out it was treatable.

I am worried about her. She is having a rough time right now and I don't really know what to do for her. She has been having panic/anxiety attacks and she got some meds for it. I have never had one but know that my brother has many times so I do know that they are very real. Yet I do not understand them since I have never experienced one before. I am also really worried about her drinking while taking the meds for them.

This week marks my grandma's passing of one year. I think she is really having a hard time with that also. She also has multiple masses that have been looked at and tested at Mayo Clinic and also here in the cities. There is one near her heart, and near her Kidney's that have not changed (so that is a good thing) but haven't disappeared either. Mayo recommended about a year and half ago to do surgery to remove them. But she was told there is a small chance that if they do surgery and they are indeed cancerous that she could be taking the risk of spreading the cancer. She has chose to do nothing. She says " If it's not causing me problems and I have no pain, why mess with it?".

My sister and I have worried about her and wondered more then once if she knows something we don't know. She has accepted the fact that she has MS, but again with that was recommended to her to go on daily shots almost 2 years ago and she hasn't done so. She did drastically change her eating habits, stopped drinking (non alcoholic drinks like coffee) and eating everything unhealthy for her. She lost a bunch of weight yet the downside is she is an alcoholic and even with all of those life changes she made and stuck to, she continues to drink some days more than others. Sometimes she goes without for a couple days and other times she binges for days at a time. Either way the combination of everything she has going on mixed with drinking. I just think none of them go hand in hand.

My mom has tryed the expensive treatment programs, like Hazelton but ended up relapsing every time. She is in her 50's and none of us (meaning my siblings & I) believe she will ever change. We can love her the way she is or walk away from it. I have done both over the years. I have made boundries with her that seem to have fallen into place now as far as her calling when she is drunk. My mom has two sides to her. The sober one is the most loving, giving, compassionate, beautiful, quiet soul you could ever meet. Then the drunk side of her is totally opposite. My mom is not good at speaking her mind. My mom is perfectly comfortable letting everyone else (mostly me) take care of things in her life that may rock the boat. But when she drinks she can be nasty. Sadly, my brother, sister and I have learned over the years to respond to her in ways that will not make a situation worse while she is drunk. We have all found where we fit and what we need to do to deal with the drinking.

Yet on the same note, we all are so very close. We have all been through SO much hurt together in our lifetimes that no matter how far away one of us gets we always end up back together. We do not have your typical "normal" family. We are a group of 4 people that talk to each other about everything, we have dinners together where we probably tell inappropriate stories at the table and end our dinners with a smoke and laughter.  Disfunctional? Oh yes with a capital D, but I have said more times than one here in this journal. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I would take my family anyday over families that have lies, and deciet as a part of the daily life they live. We have never tried to act like we were perfect and we have an understanding for humans and the errors we all make. We will not shut our door on someone we care about simply because they screwed up and made a mistake. I would guess that alot of that has to do with the fact that we have had such a hard life and lived through so many hurtful things and addictions that we feel like who are we to judge? What makes us so much better? The answer is nothing. It really is that simple!

So the bottom line is my mother is who she is. She will probably never change. We will not try to change her. All we can do is love her for who she is. It just is hard sometimes knowing that there is things she could do (like stop drinking) that would help her in the big medical picture of things. But if she is going through some things that she has no power over in the end and this is how she chooses to deal with these things well then so be it. We can either fight her til the end, or we can love her til the end. I chose the second choice. Now that I am an adult and boundries have been laid and respected, her drinking doesn't hurt me or affect me the way it used to. Because I choose not to let it.

Well, now that I got that off my chest on to lighter things lol!

My daughter's made me a homecooked meal last week that was so yummy! I took pictures of it ;) They set up a table with a candle and menu and table cloth for me and served me a 4 course meal. The first pic is the table, then the menu

 


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The salad they added fresh cucumbers, croutons, and carrots too (So yummy!)

Would you believe they made these from scratch? Made the breading and rolled them and fried them in oil?? I have never made these from scratch!! lmao

Then the main course ;) They made the meatballs by themselves

I realized I didn't get a picture of my desert but it was Angel food cake and they made a yummy frosting out of cool whip and strawberries. They always cease to amaze me and what loving awesome girls they are!! They wanted me to have a "quiet, relaxing" dinner but I invited them to eat with me lol.

The next pictures are pictures taken with my camera of my daughter's scrapbook she has. But some of these pictures of her are so cute! They are from around 2 years old to recent.....

 


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This picture I love! Not this exact picture, but one of just her dancing at our Pow Wow has been selected by the Native American Youth Alliance to be put on the huge billboard down outside the Target Center in Minneapolis during the elections. I am so proud of her ;) I will go to the ceremony when the unveil it and get lots of pictures.

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The next two are one of my daughter in her dads wedding this last Thurs. This is his 3rd wedding (Let's HOPE third times a charm!!! LOL) and the one after that is Josh and Ray at their Gmom's house (grandma)

 


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I went and saw my doctor about my kidney problems I have been having. They are sending me for testing. When I walked out of there I thought to myself "Ok this may not be as bad as I thought" and came home and checked for the testing that was priority to be done to find out it was as bad as I thought it could be. They are testing me for Polycystic Kidney Disease. Don't ask me why but because the word cyst was in there I thought it was nothing huge. I have had symptoms like a terrible bladder infection or UTI for almost 5 months now. They are not getting better, they are worse if anything. I will try not to worry to much for now and wait until I go get the testing done. Just send an extra prayer my way please ;)


Photobucket Hugs everyone!! I hope your having a good week so far! Robyn

Monday, March 10, 2008

An awesome story! I love it ;)

Why women cry..........

 

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A
little boy asked his mother, 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm a
woman,' she told him.

'I don't understand,' he said.
 
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His Mom
just hugged him and said, 'And you never will.'

Later the
little boy asked his father, 'Why does mother seem to cry for no
reason?'
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'All women cry for no reason,' was all his dad
could say.


The little boy grew up
and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally
he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, 'God,
why do women cry so easily?'

God said:

'When I made
the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong
enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough
to give comfort

I gave her an inner strength to endure
childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her
children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep
going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family
through sickness and fatigue with out complaining..

I gave
her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
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I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults
and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave
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sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This
is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.'

'You see
my son,' said God, 'the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she
wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.


The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that
is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.'
 
Hugs, Robyn
 
 
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