Friday, December 15, 2006

Anyone got a tissue?

I am usually the rock that holds it all together. I just got home and sat in my truck for the last hour and cried. I am SO tired emotionally! I just needed to let it out because I will not do it around my kids. And honestly try to not do it in front of my hubby either, because he has a hard time dealing with daily life especially the days we have been having for 2 months now.
And let me tell you once I let the tears start flowing they were a river. I got it out of my system for awhile again.
My hubby's mom is doing good today. She is feeling much better now that they got that blood clot taken care of. She said the pain is way less now. She of course is very sore, but she is on good drugs that are taking care of the pain and making her so funny! So now we just keep praying that the cancer has not spread to other parts of her body!!
My daughter was home again from school today throwing up and sick. I talked her GI doctor this afternoon and he called in THREE more meds for her. I swear it is a cycle that seems to be never ending. They give her one thing, then she needs another thing for one and so on and so on......
He wanted to put her on Steroids but I know first hand that there are so many side effects to them. I asked him if there was any other option to try to get the inflammation to decrease in the lining of her colon. He said there was so we are going with that option instead. She will have to do nightly enemas for the next 7 days and again we will hope that it will make her start feeling better. He also put her on a medication for nausea. Also something for pain. The medicine for nausea was $397.00 for 15 pills! That thing must be lined with gold!! All in all it was a thousand dollars worth of prescriptions. Thank god for insurance is all I can say!
Tomorrow afternoon she has a dance programat the Mall of America. We are really hoping she feels ok to go to it. She has really been looking forward to it! I will bring my camera and take pictures if she is well enough to go for an hour.
I am going to lay in bed and hopefully fall asleep. I do not feel like doing much other than that for the rest of the night. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Love you and hugs,


therealslimemmy said...

handing you a tissue ;)
you are dealing and going through so much right now....i think crying is a way of cleaning yourself sometimes...i hate to cry infront of anyone too so i do it in the shower a lot.  then i can tell myself its water too ;)
i hope your daughter feels better with those meds and i hope your mil is staying strong...praying for good results from her tests
hang in there
<3, emily

mpnaz58 said...

Considering what you are going through, a good cry is all that you can do.  The tears are the purging of emotions and stress.  What you are facing is still there, but somehow it makes you feel just a tad bit better.  Will be praying for you and your family.  Take care...
xoxo ~Myra

pharmolo said...

Box of tissues handy. I'm a European reader, and am horrified at the amounts of money folk in the States have to fork out for simple medicines like steroids, enemas &c.

jadejonez04 said...

OMG Dear,  I really don't know how you have been doing it sweety.  I couldn't handle all that God has given you, my heart breaks just reading!  I hope the meds help her, and that today goes well.  BIG HUGS TO YOU, shoulder to cry on any time.  OXOX

lanurseprn said...

I'm new to your journal.  I just pop in now and again.  I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time.  I hope the meds work for her.
Will keep you in my prayers.

tellsg said...

I hope the cry did you good, its good to try and get it out.  Hugs.  Terry x

daniella12800 said...

Oh man..I am sorry I have not been reading..I did not get online and read any journals this weekend.  

I am praying for your family.  I hope all works out!!  Your daughter...well why the hell would they not try the damn enima first before putting her on steroids?  Unless I read wrong..that seems like the logical way to do things.  Lets give her something natural instead of a pill to put in her system.

It is ok to cry you know.  It really helps and it is no good to hold it in.  But I understand why you would want to hide it from your hubby and your kids...I think anyway it is so they know they can rely on you to be strong.  You deserve more than a pat on teh back for how good of a person you are!.

I will continue to pray.