Friday, December 29, 2006

More pics to come soon!

Hi everyone. A couple people asked "where is the pics of you?". I am the picture taker in my house and I cannot stand pictures that I take of myself with my camera! The ones where you turn the camera around and snap yourself. BUT my mother in law also took a bunch of pics on Christmas Eve so I will have her send me some when she has the time and will post a couple for you ;) I usually get so wrapped up snapping away at my kids, and house that I forget to add me lol. I still have a VERY long entry to write and it will come when I have the time!

I hope everyone is well and doing good!

Love and HUGS,


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Random pictures...It's been awhile (LOTS of them!)

I am just going to put some random pictures from the last couple months in this entry. So there will be quite a few of them bear with me lol. 

I collect Trail of Painted Ponies, and other Native American things so I thought it would be cool to share a few pics of some of my stuff. The first three are ones I just recently got. Two Christmas ponies, and a beautiful music box.......

The next couple are of my dining room repainted and the window bench I made all by myself! lol

The next two are from my daughters birthday party. See what they did for fun later in the night? lol    The left side is her cousin Anna, then Rayanna, then cousin Maddie, then cousin Amanda (otherwise known as Boogie lol)

Oops it's sideways! The next one is of my mom and sister meeting me for lunch at Benihana's. My sister always brings presents. She is back to her old self again and doing great! And she looks great!

The next 4 are of my daughters dance program at the Mall of America.....

She is 4th one from the right

The next one is my son and a friend of ours. His mom made Josh this HUGE spider man pillow and he loved it they are playing here

Ok last one!! Promise ;) this is my daughter and my sisters new puppy Bourke (named after Doonie and Bourke lol)

I lied, one more of my house. I am not sure where this pic came from but you can all see where I live...The big ole green van is my hubby's. We bought it years ago from my cousin, then he bought it back, and well now we have it again lol. 

Belated Christmas wishes and pictures (lots of pictures!)

Merry Late Christmas Jland! I am just going to put some random pics from christmas in this entry. I have a longer entry I want to write about Christmas and how glad I am it is over at a later time. Life is still way stressful and I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day!


This is Christmas Eve after we got all the presents set around the tree.  My sister, son and hubby's son are in this pic


I have no idea why but between my camera and my daughters alot of the pics from that night turned out terrible. But at least it's something to look at ;)



These are a couple pics of my fiber optic houses I collect. I have bought one a year for the last 6 years. I love em!


This is my mother in law who was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had surgery last week and look at her! She is glowing here. She still has the drainage tube in her armpit area and was pretty worn out at the end of the night but she was here and that is all that counts ;) I love this picture of her. This is one of the presents I got her. She loves wolfs. I love this woman more than she will ever know!


This is a fan I bought my sister in law. She LOVES white tigers!



This is a present for my daughter Rayanna from her Aunt Ally, my sister in law. She made all of these beads from clay and the pot in the picture. She does some AMAZING things with clay!


These are 3 purses that hubby's aunt made for my mom, my sister and me. The beige earthtone one is mine, the purple is my moms, and the blue is my sisters. She is amazing at making purses lol! The coolest thing about these purses is that they each have feathers and dreamcatchers with each others colors in each others purse. If that makes any sense lol. For example..... My purse has purple and blue feathers to tie my mom and sister to me. And theirs  is the same. Very very cool!


My daugher at her open house with Santa at her dance school....what a cutie ;)



Ok enough pics for one entry lol! I hope you all had a great holiday and wish you all a Happy New Year!! I am going to do one more random photo entry. And a real entry is still to come. But not tonight.......



Saturday, December 16, 2006

A new day!

Good morning everyone. Thank you to those of you who are being so supportive. It's strange how signing on to aol and seeing your comments really does help! So thank you again!

We are going to Rayanna's dance program thank god she feels well enough to go. She is so frustrated with all of her symptoms, and all of these meds! As of right now she is feeling half way ok, that is not to say in two hours she will not be sick again. But I am keeping my fingers crossed she will actually go all day without the pain, and bleeding, and nausea.

I was reading all of her possible side effects for the 3 new meds I picked up yesterday and the nausea one is scary! It apparently is usually a med for chemo patients and radiation patients. I am going to give it to her as minimal as possible. The one side effect that stuck out to me is it can cause temporary vision loss. I understand it says temporary, and I understand it is only a possible side effect. But how scary is that? It would kill me if that happened to my 10 year old even if it were only temporary!!

One thing I have not explained a whole lot in here is the bleeding I have spoke of a couple times. It may be TMI for some but I will quickly explain it. For the last 10 weeks everytime she goes to the bathroom and goes BM blood drips out of her like a faucet. It is because her lining of her colon is so inflammed. It is bothersome to see so much blood when she goes. She did make a comment last night to me "mom I am starting to get used to it, but everytime I see all the blood it feels so weird because I know it is not supposed to be there"

Well I should end this and get ready to go! I will take pictures at the program to post later. It is a new day and I am feeling a little better. Now I need to try to get everything done that needs to be done. Or at least work at getting what I can done.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Hugs and love,


Friday, December 15, 2006

Anyone got a tissue?

I am usually the rock that holds it all together. I just got home and sat in my truck for the last hour and cried. I am SO tired emotionally! I just needed to let it out because I will not do it around my kids. And honestly try to not do it in front of my hubby either, because he has a hard time dealing with daily life especially the days we have been having for 2 months now.
And let me tell you once I let the tears start flowing they were a river. I got it out of my system for awhile again.
My hubby's mom is doing good today. She is feeling much better now that they got that blood clot taken care of. She said the pain is way less now. She of course is very sore, but she is on good drugs that are taking care of the pain and making her so funny! So now we just keep praying that the cancer has not spread to other parts of her body!!
My daughter was home again from school today throwing up and sick. I talked her GI doctor this afternoon and he called in THREE more meds for her. I swear it is a cycle that seems to be never ending. They give her one thing, then she needs another thing for one and so on and so on......
He wanted to put her on Steroids but I know first hand that there are so many side effects to them. I asked him if there was any other option to try to get the inflammation to decrease in the lining of her colon. He said there was so we are going with that option instead. She will have to do nightly enemas for the next 7 days and again we will hope that it will make her start feeling better. He also put her on a medication for nausea. Also something for pain. The medicine for nausea was $397.00 for 15 pills! That thing must be lined with gold!! All in all it was a thousand dollars worth of prescriptions. Thank god for insurance is all I can say!
Tomorrow afternoon she has a dance programat the Mall of America. We are really hoping she feels ok to go to it. She has really been looking forward to it! I will bring my camera and take pictures if she is well enough to go for an hour.
I am going to lay in bed and hopefully fall asleep. I do not feel like doing much other than that for the rest of the night. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Love you and hugs,

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Yet another update......

Boy was today a stressful day! My mother in law went in at 7:30 this morning to have the wire put in for her surgery. Then went directly to the hospital from there for pre-op. Her surgery was scheduled for 11. They ended up taking her an hour early.
At around 2 in the afternoon her surgeon came out to talk to us. She was in recover. But they took the first lymph node and tested it and it showed that the cancer had spread! We do not have the results yet if the rest have it also. We should know tomorrow. So they took all of her lymph nodes out during surgery.
Around 3 we all got to go see her once they got her situated in her room. Everyone was very scared for her now that we talked with the surgeon for about 30 minutes about where we go from here since the cancer has spread past her breast. That is what we were hoping had not happened. But she seemed in good spirits none the less.
At around 6 she was SO tired and 6 of us went downstairs to grab something to eat. By 6:30 we got the call that they were rushing her back into the operating room because she had a blood clot, and her breast was about 8 times bigger (swollen) than it should be. So we made the calls that needed to made and went back upstairs. We rode in the elevator with her and kissed her.
I was scared, everyone was scared. But we all put on our best faces for her. About 10 minutes after they took her back to the OR 5 more family members showed up very scared and nervous also. I could tell she was scared and trying to do the same thing we were all doing. I think most of us broke down crying privately in our own places.
Around 9 tonight the surgeon came out and told us that everything had went as planned. They drained the clot, and all the blood that had built up. They only had to reopen the breast area, not the lymph node incision. He said all in all she was doing well. The pastor from her mothers church came and prayed with all of us while waiting. It wasn't until about 11 tonight that they brought her back to her room from recovery and we got to see her.
She has had a LONG day! She was really out of it and sleepy. So we all said our I love you's and headed home. On alert thou that we may have to go back if there are anymore complications. My hubby stayed with her. He will spend the night there and stay with her til whenever he needs to.
So as far as the breast cancer goes, she is doing ok. They think they got it all. Now is the waiting game to see if it has spread to other parts of her body since the Lymph Node tested positive for cancer also.
Let me tell you about my morning before I even got to the hospital. I woke up to get my kids off to school. My daughter got on the bus and went fine. But first I was awaken to my dog getting sick in literally about 20 spots in my house with throw up and the runs! NOT fun to wake up to having to clean up. About half way threw it I got sick and threw up from the smell of it!
Then about 5 minutes before my son was due to get on his bus, he got a bloody nose that caused him to miss his bus, and took an hour to stop!
In the middle of trying to get it to stop, I got a call from my daughters school nurse she was very very sick. She was vomiting at school and balled over in pain! I called my 17 yr old and she was able to come here around noon and watch her for me. I hated to leave her and felt terrible, but my 17 year old laid with her and took good care of her. She proceeded to get sick and hurt badly all day and night until she fell asleep. This Colitis flare up is SO terrible! God do I feel bad for her. The worst part is that there isreally nothing I can do for her. It makes it so damn frustrating!
So once my daughter was here to watch her I headed to the hospital and that is where the beginning of this entry started.
My emotions are soooooo tired right now! I am a bundle of feelings. I am very overwhelmed, scared, frustrated, sad, relieved, happy, angry, just to name a few all mixed into one!
I also just found out that my mother probably has cancer in her kidney's and liver! We took her to Mayo clinic 6 months ago and they did a new CT scan this last week and the masses are all still there. All in all it looks to be 8 of them! This is a whole different entry for a different day.
And I still have not even half of my Christmas shopping done. I just cannot seem to find the time! I am getting a little nervous because time is running out. But Christmas really is not about the material stuff and everything else going on definitely takes priority. I will do what I can and the best I can but that is all I can do. Since my whole family is going threw all of this stress together there is not one person that would not understand if things are not bought, or even ready on Christmas.
I am going to end this now and try to relax for a bit and hope I can sleep tonight and do not get a call to go back to the hospital.
I just really have to wonder................When is enough enough?? How much exactly does god think he can put on one person or families plate at one time??
I usually reread my entries to catch any typos but I do not have the energy to do that tonight.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Another update

Hi everyone. Another stressful week and it is only Monday! We got the last two test results back from my daughters test to find out that she is also Lactose Intolerant, and has Esophigitus Reflux. I feel SO bad for her because this flare up of hers has been going on for two months, and she just flat out is not feeling to great still! Her stomach hurts her so bad she balls over and lays on me. She has problems in the bathroom. She is getting fevers, she has a hard time sleeping. So far neither medicine they put her on is helping.
We have a very long appointment tomorrow at the University of MN with my sons Genetics team. We have to be there at 7:30 AM. They have asked us to bring a ton of pictures of him from birth up, and of all surgeries. They have also asked for all of his medical records we have, I asked the woman I had to speak with for about 30 minutes today going over family health history "Do you have a dump truck?" lol
This will be the beginning process to getting some unanswered questions we have had for many years about my son. We will definitely be finding out at least one maybe two or three more Syndromes he has. And this will be the beginning to find out if he is Autistic as well.
Then on Thursday morning at the crack of dawn we will be bringing Bills mom to pre-op for her surgery that morning. They will be taking out the one Lymph node right away and testing it for cancer also. Please pray for her that this cancer has not spread anywhere else. If it shows that it has the whole surgery will change.
My daughter has about 5 days left to take these pills and will end up back in the hospital if she is not getting any better.
Oh and I have bought THREE presents so far! Trying to find the time to get it all done is seeming virtually impossible! I usually LOVE Christmas time. And this year I am just not feeling it. I am not feeling the Joy and Happiness! There is so much sickness and sadness going on. Hubby is scrooge of all scrooges, because this last month and half have been extremely overwhelming for him!
What else? We went to the concert with our moms, and both of our sisters on Friday night. We had a blast! The concert was great. I pictured Air Supply as a quiet mellow concert, but it was loud and funny ;) The lead singer walked the aisles and we were in the 8th row center at the end of the row and my mom was on the aisle seat, so when he walked by her he caressed her face for a few seconds. It was very cute, she loved it! She was the reason we were even there since she loves Air Supply!
Our 4 rooms were two Suites and two standard rooms and each standard room was connected to each suite. And all of the rooms were right across the hall from one another. So after the concert we went to one of the bars there and had a couple drinks. Then went back up to the rooms and took the tables out of each room and put them together in one and played Mexican Dominoes for hours. We had room service bring a couple rounds of drinks up for us also. In the morning we all ate at the yummy buffet and headed home.
My 17 yr old was here overnight watching my kids and they had my house such a damn mess! I was not real happy about that! Another BIG news thing was found out recently also. Our 17 yr old is pregnant also!! It took us aback! We were in the hospital with our 10 year old when we found out. Hubby found out the same day we found out his mother had cancer. So yeah we are a little overwhelmed, and frazzled, and having a hard time dealing with SO much at one time!
NEVER A DULL MOMENT in my world I tell you! Please keep my mother in law and my daughter's in your thoughts still. I will update on her surgery and my daughter as soon as I can.
I hope everyone is doing good. Have a good week!
Love and Hugs,


Sunday, December 10, 2006

My counter reset itself! Grrrrrrrr......................

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Remembering last year at this time......

Last year at this time I took my kids to Nashville Tennessee to the Grand Ole Opry. We had a blast! We went to see the show "Ice" and it was SO cold in the exhibit, but it was beautiful! I will post some pictures from it since I think I didn't get around to doing it last Dec ;)

Aren't the parkas cute? We had our own winter coats on under these beautiful things lol....

The things they can do with ice sculptures is so cool! If you ever get the chance to go see this show at Christmas time I would say do it! It was kind of expensive to get in considering you do not spend a lot of time there, since it is so cold. But man it is pretty! Afterwards we took a carriage ride around the Grand Ole Opry for about an hour and that was beautiful also!

We thought of going to Florida next week for a week. But now with everything going on with my daughter we have decided against it. We will stay here and plan for something in the spring.

Keeping your soul young..........

We do not stop playing because we grow old;

We grow old because we stop playing.

Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!

Results in finally!


Hi everyone. Well we finally got the results back from my daughters tests and biopsy's. She does have Ulcerative Colitis. Her GI doctor called in a new prescription for her yesterday called Asacol that he intends for her to take indefinately. 4 pills a day.

I did a bunch of researching on it last night and honestly did not like all the forums I read about this drug. It causes many side effects for most people and has actually made the flare ups worse.

They call it a disease, as it is not curable (with the exception of surgery to remove the colon, intestines and rectum) they say that is the only way you can get rid of it. But to me that is not an option right now for a 10 year old.

Her doctor told us to try it for 10 days and if there was not dramatic improvement they will be admitting her again and doing more tests and at that point figure out what will work for her.

She is still feeling really rough! She has not felt good for 2 months now. I feel bad for her. She was just as glad as I was tho to finally get some sort of results as to what has been making her feel so terrible and tired, and sore.

I printed a ton of stuff last night related to Colitis and I think this is going to be a very frustrating thing for her to have to deal with at such a young age. They have support groups at Childrens Hospital and I think I may sign up for one that we can go to together.

When the flare ups go away they call it in remission. Her flare up is not gone yet. Which is why she is feeling so crappy.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that she will start feeling better since she already spent Thanksgiving in the hospital, I would hate for her to have to be there over Christmas also! But if it ends up that way well then we will just bring Christmas to her ;) ALL of us lol

I have not started shopping yet, I have 3 presents bought and that is it! We did finally get the outside lights up, and my tree is up and my house is decorated! I have not even bought my cards to send out yet this year! I have a HUGE list of to do's this weekend. I am hoping I can power shop and get it all done on Saturday and Sunday.

Tomorrow night hubby and I are taking my mom, and his mom to see Air Supply ( both of them love em!). We will sit in the lounge afterwards and have a few drinks then stay in these beautiful suites that night. We are treating both of them to the whole evening. My sister and her B/F will have a room also. I think hubby's mom will have a blast, it is going to be her last outing before she has surgery, and has chemo and radiation!

I remember when I was a kid my mom loved her some Air Supply! The first pay preview event she ever ordered was their concert. She has a friend over and they acted like little girls lol! So she is pretty excited too.

I think it will be fun. It gives me a excuse to get all dressed up and have fun for a night.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I took Marina's advice and deleted all of my alerts, there were way to many to catch up on. So now I am able to start reading again. I still need to go threw all the comments left over the couple weeks and start visiting some of these wonderful peoples journals!

HUGS AND MORE HUGS to everyone!


Monday, December 4, 2006

Update again

Hi everyone I am just doing another quick update. I have SO many journals to read. My mailbox is so full. My daughter is still feeling so rough. And we still have no answers. The results from her tests done on the 24th should be back this week, and I really hope we get some kind of answer!
It is so hard to not know what is wrong with her, and so hard to help her feel better when nothing seems to work!
I have been sick again to with a terrible cold. Not fun!
Hubby's mom had her consult appointment at the Breast Center last Wednesday and we took her to it. It was SO much information packed into 3 hours. The type of breast cancer she has is Invasive Ductal Carsinoma. She opted to do the Lumpectomy on the 16th of this month. Followed with 6 weeks of Chemo, then 6 weeks of Radiation.
They will remove one Lymph Node during surgery and test it to see if the cancer has spread, if so they will remove all the nodes there.
She is scared but doing ok. My hubby is a wreck worrying about her, which is understandable! She has a TON of paperwork to fill out for different agencies to help her. We were told there is something called Charity Care that may pick up where her minimal little crappy insurance of $10,000.00 max cuts off. We are keeping are fingers crossed!
I got my christmas tree up a day and a half ago, I usually do it right after Thanksgiving but have not had the time. I also got all my decorations around the house put up. We are doing the outside lights today.
I JUST got my Christmas lists made and have a ton of shopping left to do. I plan on going this weekend coming up and getting it all done over the weekend.
I will keep updating as I can. I hope everyone is doing well!
I love you and HUGS,