Hiya everyone! Today has been a quiet day. My daughter started my day out trying to make breakfast for me ;) (It is the thought that counts lol) She made scambled eggs with cheese, and french toast. The french toast was edible but the eggs were not lol. She is a sweetheart for trying. But the kitchen was a disaster when she was done so overall it made more work for me but that's ok.
I wrote an entry a few days ago about being SO tired and slept that I slept most of the day. I still feel like that. I am not sick. It is stress that is wearing me down period no questions asked. I just have not had the desire to do everything I usually do on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I get out of bed and go threw the motions and do what needs to be done. But not as quickly or readily as I usually do.
There are a few things in this house that I do not feel I should have to do considering I do so much already and one is yardwork. I hired a service to come for the whole summer and let them go a couple weeks ago thinking that since hubby was here he could do it the last couple times. And rake the yard, and finish the landscaping that he started months ago. BUT not one thing is done yet?? So I sit and look out my window and think "shit maybe I should just go outside and get it done, or maybe I should hire someone to come do a fall clean-up". But then I get frustrated and pissed and wonder why should I have to?? Why can he not do it?
I look out my window at all my neighbors who work 40 hours a week and some even more and watch them do all this outside work that needs to get done either on their days off or when they get home from work and wonder why when my husband does not work our yard is not the nicest one in this area? Also wonder why he does not care if it looks nice or not?
WE chose to live in this big ass house and he knew all the responsibilities that would come along with it. We are moving at the end of May and I am seriously considering moving back into a really nice townhouse that has association fees you pay so that all the outdoor stuff will be taken care of. My house is almost 4000 square feet and I would be happy with something no more then 3000.
Knowing that we are moving also gives me a ton more stuff to do this winter. Like downsizing bigtime! I am going to be going threw my house top to bottom and giving away everything I do not need or have not used in a long time. I may sell some stuff on Craigs List also. Luckily my daughter and my sister both recently moved into their first places and need stuff to get them started. More so my daughter than my sister. So a lot of it will be passed onto to them.
You know that I have been threw so much hurt and sadness in my life and have always did my best to put one foot in front of the other and keep going but lately it has just been so hard! I have to re-evaluate everything in my life again and figure out what it is that is causing me to feel this way! Deep down inside (maybe not even so deep) I already know part of the answers. So maybe figuring out what I am willing to do to find myself again so to speak is the best way to explain it.
I am loving journaling and getting comments now that I have stopped being a silent reader. It really is like a present when you sign on and see in your email that other people have taken the time out of their lives to leave you a comment!
Well I am off to take a shower and go out to get some of my sons birthday presents. I cannot believe he is going to be 8 on the 19th!! Some ways it feels it has been 20 but others it feels it has only been a couple years. He is a runt lol! He still wears size 4-5 clothes. The 5's are kinda big on him still. He weighs 45 pounds. So he is not the average size of a 8 year old. I have a entry I want to write about him and his love for life but will do that later on. I was watching him earlier and was thinking it would be cool to explain to you the little man he is. He is amazing!
I hope everyone is having a great afternoon and a great weekend!
P.S THANKS Gwen for telling me how to write an entry in my email!!