Thursday, October 26, 2006

Part 2 to new pics

Josh got his school pios back today so I figured I may as well add his too, He has two poses, one is OH so serious, and the other is his cheesy smile ;)  I also was messing around with that pic of me and got two I think are kinda cool so I am going to add those too.


Relaxed! A couple new pics

Hiya everyone! It has been a quiet day today. Hubby and I got the kids off to school this morning and he headed up north right after. So I cleaned a little bit and watched TV and relaxed all day! Now the kids are getting home and I need to clean some more and make dinner but thats ok it is still quiet and I feel relaxed ;)

Here is my daughter Rayanna's school pic I scanned.....

The next one is just plain ole me....I have been messing around with different things on my photo program. I have never really used borders or frames on any of my pictures. It is really cool how many different options there are!

And this last one is one of my sister I found a couple weeks ago when she was very young. But I love the picture!! It is hard to look at that then realize she is going to be having her own baby in about 3 months!

I am trying to plan a trip to Florida over Christmas break for a week. When we go we always rent a house versus hotels. We pay about the same but get the convienence of a whole house, with full kitchen, a heated pool, ect. It is awesome!

I have been getting shooting pains in the lower right side of my head for about a week now. I think I figured out what it is from tho, I think I have a very very tight muscle in my neck on right side and it is making the pain shoot into the back of my head. My hubby tried to rub it out last night and did loosen it up quite a bit, and it cracked repeatedly while he was doing it. But now today the pains are back. Think it might be time to go see my Chiro again!

It's hard to believe Christmas is just a couple months away again! I asked all the kids for lists by next week so I can try to be done really early this year! I was proud of myself last year I finished about a week early, so I am shooting for at least a couple weeks early this year ;)

We usually always go to my brothers for Thanksgiving and it has beenthat way for many years now. But this year his wife is going to be in Texas with her parents and at a UKC Dog Show her and my niece are entered in. So we are having it at my mothers house. That should be interesting, we have not done any holidays at her house in a LONG time. My sister called me last night and asked if we would teach her and her B/F how to make a ham the way we do at Christmas time.

We will still have Christmas Eve dinner here at my house like always tho. It is tradition. I'm sure for any of you who read my whole journal you can see and know that I LOVE Christmas time. I love decorating my house, and I love playing Christmas music, I love lighting a fire, I love a beautiful tree with lots of presents under it, I love sitting around with my whole family on Christmas eve spending time together. I just flat out love everything about Christmas!

You know I was looking at different entries on my journal and realized that it is all very real and me, but I have a secret to confess that you would not be able to tell by my entries!

I cuss like a sailor sometimes lol!! You guys get the edited versions.

Well I need to end this and go wait for my son to get off the bus.

I hope everyone had a great day!! Hugs, Robyn

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Ok a real entry this time ;)


Hi everyone. I was trying to figure out how to put videos on my page so I had a couple test entries Sorry lol. I love this song.
Last night at about 3 am I got so sick! I was throwing up for over a hour. Then again this morning. I think I have some 24-48 hour bug. Not fun!!
My daughter got her school pictures back today I will scan it later and show you. It is very cute.
Well the carpet in my bathroom is officially gone (can you say YEAH!). Yesterday morning the worker came around 8 AM and started pounding and banging, I am having my shower re-tiled also. The carpet is being replaced with a medium white tile. It is going to look so much better! Then it will be time to tear the wallpaper down and redo the walls also. It should all be done by Friday.
My kids are getting older. My daughter came home today and asked if she could go trick or treating around our neighborhood with two of her friends instead of us. I have always taken the kids and didn't think it would be any different this year. I told her I would really like for her to come with us for at least an hour and then she can go with her friends for another hour. We have a huge neighborhood with tons of houses right here so I am not worried about her going out with her friends. But it just reminds me that she is getting older and wanting a little independence :(
I guess I can't still go trick or treating with her when she is a teenager. It might cramp her style lmao
I found out yesterday when hubby and I took the kids up to eat brunch at the buffet at the casino on my reservation that Air Supply is coming there on Dec. 8th. I grew up listening to them because my mother LOVED Air Supply. I remember the first time she ever ordered a pay pre-view show it was their concert. She had a friend come over and they were like little girls watching it. It was funny.
So I thought it would be really cool to take her to this concert and surprise her. I called my brother and sister about all of us going  if nothing is already planned they are both willing to go. So what I am going to do is rent two suites, and two regular rooms for all of us to be able to spend the night up their and we will all go the concert then hang out. It should be really fun. I called earlier to see if we could get 8 tickets, and the 4 rooms side by side and it is looking like we can. It should be fun. I think my mom will have a blast.
My daughter Rayanna started hip hop dance about a month ago and she is loving it. It is really cool. She found out last night that she will have her first show in December at the Mall of America. It is a huge dance program that her school she goes to is just a part of. They show all different types of dance. Personally I think the Mall of America is over rated. It is to big and takes forever to get from one place to another. I live 10 minutes from it so I guess that is why it is not that big of a deal to me.
It's hard to believe people travel from other countries to visit it lol! But her show should be awesome. I can't wait to see her up on the stage in the middle of mall ;) I will bring my camera and take a small video of it and let everyone see it.
Well that's it for today. I hope everyone had a great day!
HUGS, Robyn

Friday, October 20, 2006

Happy Birthday Joshie Bug!

   Happy 8th Birthday Joshie!

He had his birthday yesterday. We decided this year not have a big ole birthday party. We split it up, I met my mom and sister for lunch with him. And we will be going to hubby's moms house this weekend. Otherwise we just stayed home and his brother and sisters were here. We opened presents with him. He was promptly ready to go to his bedroom right when he was done. He wanted to spend some time alone playing with his new presents lol. One of his presents I bought him was the DVD The Wild. Well when I got home I realized I just bought that movie a couple weeks ago! DUH!

I have a couple pictures I took of him last night I wanted to put here, but I am on my daughters laptop because she is on my home puter. And hubby's son is on my laptop. So I cannot get to the pictures right now.

Hubby finally got our yard done yesterday! There is a small section in backyard that he has to finish today. It looks much nicer now!

I am off to take my daughter to get her tooth pulled. I will make another entry later with a couple pictures. I hope everyone has a great day!


Sunday, October 15, 2006

My little man

Hi everyone! I am going to make this entry about my son Joshua. He has this love for life that you can see just looking at him! He smiles at the sky, the wind blowing on his face, trees, he laughs at so many different things on TV, he smiles and laughs at babies crying. He will look out his bedroom window and smile at birds and crack up laughing.
He lives in a world that seems so simple. So simple compared to the daily life we live. A world that if we all lived in it really may be a better world. He has had 3 Cranial Vaults (reconstruction of his whole skull), and a few other surgeries. He spent the first year and half of his life in the hospital.
He spent a month each Cranial Vault in the hospital. Yet you see this peace about him that you do not see in other peoples eyes. The peace that he is not concerned with what is going on around him, or what other people think.
Now most of what I am explaining is here at home when it is just us (his family). Take him out of OUR element and then he is not so happy. He feels safe here at home around his dad, me and his sisters.
Anytime of the day you will catch him in any kind of mirror he can find in the house. IE. Dishwasher, stove, fireplace glass, hutches, bathroom. Dancing, making funny faces, laughing at himself if he does something silly, just simply staring at himself and thinking he is the coolest thing around! (WHICH he IS!! :)
He doesn't talk so he basically makes sounds like a baby still. And once in awhile a new sound will come out of his mouth and OMG does he think that is hilarious! He will continue to do and be laughing so hard that he can't even get the whole noise out lmao!
He cannot stand it when any door in our house is open. He will walk around and close them after anyone leaves them open. He is extra careful doing anything he does. As a matter of fact he will not do it unless sure he is safe doing it.
He does not know how to actually give a kiss with his mouth closed, but he knows to put his lips to yours and that just started last year and I about cried and held him and didn't let go the first time he gave me a "kiss"! I had never had that from him and it melted me!! One routine we have is during bedtime he gets up in bed, then gets tucked in. We will say "Goodnight" to him and he will lean his forehead in to you to kiss. Then when you say "I love you" to him he will no matter how far away he is from you put his lips on yours. And it happens this way every night. He has the two words that trigger different kisses for him.
He has SO many toys, to the point that it was almost hard for any of us (grandmas, aunts, uncles, ect) to buy him anything at Christmas and Birthday time. Because he has been stuck at a 3-4 year old range for years. So if you walked down the aisles of Target, ToysRus, ect. He had just about everyone there was. He LOVES Rescue Heroes, and any kind of dolls like Robots, Toy Story that have arms and legs that he can make do things. He LOVES Rolie Polie Olie with a passion!!
BUT he has this one little umbrella that he got with a Little People House when he was around 2 that he loves and will get very upset if he cannot have it. He lives and breathes this little umbrella and if it gets taken away from him at night that will be the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up the next day is getting it back in his hands. I have NO idea why he loves this thing the way he does, but we always make sure to never go on a trip without it lol! I will put a picture of him with it at the end of the entry.
Well I could keep on telling you more and more but my point behind this entry is to let you all see what a cool little boy he is. Sometimes we just watch him here because you never know what he is going to do lol. When you look at him this almost 8 year old boy in the body of a 3-4 year old and can clearly see he is different then watch him you can see he appreciates the simple things in life a lot more than you or I do everyday of his life.
My 10 year old Rayanna has said on more than one occasion she wishes she could switch bodies with him even if only for a day just to get a full view on what he is thinking everyday, and what it is like to live in his world. And to give him the chance to live in her world. His sisters love him more than imaginable!
Between myself, hubby, and sisters we are his safe haven. We try to live life as normal as possible everyday of our lives with him. We talk to him constantly, we try to let him do the things that we all do even if he is unable to. Yes we get frustrated some days, and get sad some days. But in the big picture we are trully blessed to have him! I have lived and breathed Joshua since even before he came into this world. I love him even tho I wish I could take it all away and give him what most would call a normal life. Sometimes I think if everyones lives were as simple as Joshua's we would all be happier.
It is a question I will never have the answer to. And that's ok I really do not need one. Listening to people talk over the years and comments people make to us. We have heard mention of putting him in some sort of home to be raised. It is not now or ever been an option to do that! I will never do that! I have gotten angry at people very close to us for even putting that into our conversation! My son has far to much to give, and learn, and far to much love from right here in this house to ever walk away from that!
We may very well be in this for the duration of his life. Even as he turns into an adult and if that is the way it turns out well then so be it! I hope and pray for his sake that he will be able to live some sort of "normal" life someday and be independent but I honestly do not know if that will happen. One day at a time, and everything will always be ok!
Well I am going to end this entry now. I hope everyone had a great weekend! It is beautiful outside today!! It was 30 last night now it is about 60 again.
Hugs, Robyn
Here is his umbrella ;)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Lazy Saturday

Hiya everyone! Today has been a quiet day. My daughter started my day out trying to make breakfast for me ;) (It is the thought that counts lol) She made scambled eggs with cheese, and french toast. The french toast was edible but the eggs were not lol. She is a sweetheart for trying. But the kitchen was a disaster when she was done so overall it made more work for me but that's ok.
I wrote an entry a few days ago about being SO tired and slept that I slept most of the day. I still feel like that. I am not sick. It is stress that is wearing me down period no questions asked. I just have not had the desire to do everything I usually do on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong I get out of bed and go threw the motions and do what needs to be done. But not as quickly or readily as I usually do.
There are a few things in this house that I do not feel I should have to do considering I do so much already and one is yardwork. I hired a service to come for the whole summer and let them go a couple weeks ago thinking that since hubby was here he could do it the last couple times. And rake the yard, and finish the landscaping that he started months ago. BUT not one thing is done yet?? So I sit and look out my window and think "shit maybe I should just go outside and get it done, or maybe I should hire someone to come do a fall clean-up". But then I get frustrated and pissed and wonder why should I have to?? Why can he not do it?
I look out my window at all my neighbors who work 40 hours a week and some even more and watch them do all this outside work that needs to get done either on their days off or when they get home from work and wonder why when my husband does not work our yard is not the nicest one in this area? Also wonder why he does not care if it looks nice or not?
WE chose to live in this big ass house and he knew all the responsibilities that would come along with it. We are moving at the end of May and I am seriously considering moving back into a really nice townhouse that has association fees you pay so that all the outdoor stuff will be taken care of. My house is almost 4000 square feet and I would be happy with something no more then 3000.
Knowing that we are moving also gives me a ton more stuff to do this winter. Like downsizing bigtime! I am going to be going threw my house top to bottom and giving away everything I do not need or have not used in a long time. I may sell some stuff on Craigs List also. Luckily my daughter and my sister both recently moved into their first places and need stuff to get them started. More so my daughter than my sister. So a lot of it will be passed onto to them.
You know that I have been threw so much hurt and sadness in my life and have always did my best to put one foot in front of the other and keep going but lately it has just been so hard! I have to re-evaluate everything in my life again and figure out what it is that is causing me to feel this way! Deep down inside (maybe not even so deep) I already know part of the answers. So maybe figuring out what I am willing to do to find myself again so to speak is the best way to explain it.
I am loving journaling and getting comments now that I have stopped being a silent reader. It really is like a present when you sign on and see in your email that other people have taken the time out of their lives to leave you a comment!
Well I am off to take a shower and go out to get some of my sons birthday presents. I cannot believe he is going to be 8 on the 19th!! Some ways it feels it has been 20 but others it feels it has only been a couple years. He is a runt lol! He still wears size 4-5 clothes. The 5's are kinda big on him still. He weighs 45 pounds. So he is not the average size of a 8 year old. I have a entry I want to write about him and his love for life but will do that later on. I was watching him earlier and was thinking it would be cool to explain to you the little man he is. He is amazing!
I hope everyone is having a great afternoon and a great weekend!
Hugs, Robyn

P.S THANKS Gwen for telling me how to write an entry in my email!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Trick or Treat


Trick or Treat

It's that time of year again to spread some cheer or some fear! 

Make a journal entry titled "Trick Or Treat Through J-Land" and copy these instructions so others can play along.  Visit as many journals as you can with the "Trick or Treat Through J-Land" title and leave them your link.  Hopefully all those who actively participate will get many trick or treaters and meet some new J-Land pals!

Happy Haunting! Hope to see you soon!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Another late random photo entry

The first pics are of our hotel we stayed at in Maryland. If anyone ever needs to go to DC for anything and dosn't wanna stay right in the mix of everything I would suggest this hotel in Frederick Maryland to all of you! It was beautiful! And close enough to get there yet far enough to not be in all the traffic all day and night...... It was the Hampton Inn Suites.....


Here is all the DVD's my daughter brought with for the car lol.....


This one is of Josh and Rayanna sleeping and they look so cute.....

This next one is us at Josh's Neurosurgeon's office waiting to be seen. Is he not adorable or what? He was looking at the biggest book ever lol

Here is what I made trying to pass time lmao....


Ok I am done. I realized yesterday I have not added any real pictures to my journal in awhile now so I am putting a bunch of random ones from over the last month or two. I am done now and will add a real entry again soon!

I picked my truck up about an hour ago and it is running awesome again! Heavy price to pay but so worth it to me! Hubby got home and hooked trailer up to it tho and headed up north so I am without it again anyways. He had to bring the trailer back up north we borrowed from my cousin and will be returning home tomorrow. He is doing a up and back. Usually he stays for at least 3 days but he has to pick his son up tomorrow evening for the weekend so not this time.

It is 36 degrees and has been sort of snowing all day. But not much is sticking at all on the ground. But it sure feels cold and it is so windy!! It is a really good night to light a fire and curl up and watch a movie. I am running to get my eyebrows waxed and get a few things from the grocery store. My daughter is begging me to make her Tater Tot Hotdish so I told her I would tomorrow  night.

Hugs everyone! Has anyone heard from Emily from Emily's Purple Pages? I am wondering how Tony's homecoming went and how they are all doing.... I have been thinking about them ;)




A bunch of random pictures

This is a pic of the shelves I made for my daughter

More of her room

Don't mind my flash in her laptop lol

A close up you can see the glitter in it. I used a glittery topcoat.

My new purse, it looks really dark brown in this pic. It is not that dark for real

This is a necklace and earrings my 10 year old made for me a couple days ago. She did a awesome job!

My daughters digital camera I got her for her birthday.

Ok thats enough for now just figured it's been awhile since I added some pics for you to see ;) Gnite!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Been so sleepy all day

 Hiya everyone. I have not been feeling good all day today! I slept almost all day! Which is totally strange for me. Then tonight I showered and hubby had done everything and fed the kids dinner so we decided to take them to see Open Season. This is the first time Josh has ever been in an actual theatre and we lucked out and NOONE else was in there with us lol. He did great for most of the movie. It was a really cute movie.

When we left the movie it was 32 degrees and had SNOWED while we where in the movie! Man was it cold! My daughter lost her jacket, no idea how you lose a winter coat but she did so we stopped after movie and found her a really cute down jacket and gloves, hat, and scarf.

When we got home there was a message from my other daughter that her b/f got a job he is starting Friday doing roofing outside. The kid came here from Tennessee with no winter coat so we came home and went thru hubbies coats and hoodies and found a huge pile of them we brought over to their house for him and a hat and gloves. He would have been freezing working outside so now he should be good until he gets some money to buy whatever he wants. Lucky for him tho we both still wear (but hubby applys to what we gave him) really cool cute clothes lol.

My truck should hopefully be fixed tomorrow or Friday at the latest. I am missing it and can't wait to get it back! With a big ass dent in my pocket book when it gets picked up ;)

Well I am going to read some journals and play City of Villains for a bit then hit the hay again. I should be wide awake as much as I slept today but that dosn't seem to be the case. Maybe it is just stress making my body take it easy today, who knows?

Hope everyone had a great day!

Hugs, Robyn

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Never a dull moment!

 Well I do not think that yesterday could have gotten any worse! It started out in the morning taking my daughter to court for that fight she got into last month(which was dismissed). On the way home my truck redlined everytime it tried to go into 2nd gear.

So we knew it was something with the transmission. We took it to TSI, a place that family has went for years and years. He called back around 2 and hubby said "Hi, how are you?" his response...."better than you". Hmm pretty sure that is not good lol! My transmission has to be completely replaced!! Usually runs about $2800.00, he is going to do it for us for around $2000.00! Still can you say OUCH!! But I love my truck so there was no question wether to fix it or not fix it. But I sure and the hell can think of other things I would rather do with two thousand damn dollars!

So then while finishing up my daughters room I get a email from my sons Cranio Surgeon in DC to inform me of this........

Before I tell you let me remind of who this man is. Dr. Robert Gorlin is the world renowned retired Genetisist who diagnosed my son when he was a day old. He went back to work and Dr. Posnick in DC told us since he was practicing again at the University of MN that we should start seeing him for a new set of genetic testing. We were told there is not another doctor in the USA with the level of knowledge he has on cranio issues and genetics. He said that he would maybe be able to give us some answers as to what other syndrome he has.

Now that I explained all that you will understand why this email devastated me. The email was to inform me that Dr. Gorlin passed away! From the sounds of it he is going to missed very much from ALOT of people in the medical field aside from his family and friends.

Now I am not sure who I am supposed to see for these answers. Dr. Posnick said to go ahead and still make an appointment with someone from his group and of course I will do that. But it is not the same as seeing what other doctors the "god" of all docs.

Then at 11 last night I get a call from my daughter that her head hurt so bad she could'nt stand it and she had to go the Emergency Room. She was there until around 1:30am. She is ok they think from her sleeping on the floor at her new place that she just had some terrible kinks in her neck and that is what was causing it. I think that she also has been not getting enough sleep, or eating right, and maybe even drinking so top that off with sleeping on a floor without any carpet padding and yeah I bet she does have a hell of a headache.

Two nights ago we filled a trailer full with all of the bigger furniture we gave to her and dropped it off. We had not been over there since we walked out that night and the place was such a damn mess! Explain to me how when she barely had anything moved in yet she could make such a mess! The paint trays from when we there were even still sitting on the counter.

I am not going to go over there and clean her house (trust me I wanted to! lol) She thinks she is so grown up I will have to let her learn once she can't take it anymore because it is so gross that she is going to have to clean up after herself.

I need a break! My house is finally looking half way clean again now that Amanda's stuff is out of here and my daughter is back in a bedroom. Because man oh man was it a mess. It was driving me nuts! I cannot relax at all when my house is all disorganized!

I am off to do dishes. Hope everyone had a good day!

Hugs, Robyn         

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Long overdue entry

 Hmmmm where to start? I have not wrote a entry in about a week! I will start with my daughter and what happened over at her new place 4 days ago.

We were over there painting her kitchen cabinets and her and her boyfriend where in one of the bedrooms right next to kitchen painting the trim. It got REAL quiet and trust me neither one of them is quiet so I went in there to find her doing FAR more than she should have been doing with her parents in the next room!!! We are not stupid and know she is sexually active and have had many many talks about protecting herself always and getting pregnant and std's.

On that same note we have also had talks about her moving out on her own knowing she will be free to do whatever she wants whenever she wants, but we have asked her on more than one occasion to respect the fact that we do not like it and not to put in our face basically.

So to then catch them RIGHT in the next room was a huge smack in the face to me!! I felt so hurt, disrespected, disappointed, and angry! I went back into the kitchen hubby asked what they were doing. I told him and she came out there and asked some trivial question and I told her I knew what she was doing because UM his fly was still wide open when he turned a little and she didn't say a word. No I'm sorries, no nothing!

We left and came home. I have been bending over backwards to make this place livable, clean, and nice. I have spent so many hours over there to help her out. I have spent so much money buying her stuff. I have given her countless things to furnish her house. So to me this was the ultimate disrespect! I am done helping.

I love her to pieces but if she is that disrespectful and wants to grow up so fast then she can do the rest on her own! I think back to when I was her age and granted I lived in my own apartment at 15 I think back to times I did see my mother, and times that she was around and my mother really gave me few reasons to respect her and I still NEVER would have been sexual with her a wall away!

Here at home I am in the process of moving my 10 year olds room back upstairs into Amanda's old room and man what a job! Since her room flooded before we went to DC she has pretty much been roomless. We sort of made her a bedroom in the dining room waiting for the upstairs bedroom to be open when Amanda left. But besides moving everything and having to clean each and every thing since it stunk so bad down there from the water. I also have been making her new shelves (which I will take pics of tomorrow), and reupholstering this cool half circle lounge thing she has and it is all so time consuming! But the shelves turned out really cute, and the half of the lounger I have done looks great so far too!

I took my son to the dentist two days ago to have a panoramic xray done because he is going to be 8 on the 19th of this month and has still never lost a tooth! His cranial surgeon wanted the panoramic done to make sure he has his adult teeth there. Well this machine is set up so stupidly and after repeated tries his dad and I trying to reach here and reach there because the machine is set up so stupidly they did not get one good xray!

We told them that because Josh's head had to be restrained and he had to bite down on the little tube that there was noway in hell they were going to be able to get the pics without sedation. So the dentist called all the bigger hospitals around here and noone does sedation for this panoramic xray! I am not sure what we are going to do. I came home and emailed his surgeon for some advice. Oh man was Josh pissed after 30 minutes of trying. We told them we were done it wasn't going to happen!

Well I have lots more I could write about but it is almost 4am and I need some sleep! Gnite and hugs everyone. Hope you had a great weekend!