Friday, December 29, 2006

More pics to come soon!

Hi everyone. A couple people asked "where is the pics of you?". I am the picture taker in my house and I cannot stand pictures that I take of myself with my camera! The ones where you turn the camera around and snap yourself. BUT my mother in law also took a bunch of pics on Christmas Eve so I will have her send me some when she has the time and will post a couple for you ;) I usually get so wrapped up snapping away at my kids, and house that I forget to add me lol. I still have a VERY long entry to write and it will come when I have the time!

I hope everyone is well and doing good!

Love and HUGS,


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Random pictures...It's been awhile (LOTS of them!)

I am just going to put some random pictures from the last couple months in this entry. So there will be quite a few of them bear with me lol. 

I collect Trail of Painted Ponies, and other Native American things so I thought it would be cool to share a few pics of some of my stuff. The first three are ones I just recently got. Two Christmas ponies, and a beautiful music box.......

The next couple are of my dining room repainted and the window bench I made all by myself! lol

The next two are from my daughters birthday party. See what they did for fun later in the night? lol    The left side is her cousin Anna, then Rayanna, then cousin Maddie, then cousin Amanda (otherwise known as Boogie lol)

Oops it's sideways! The next one is of my mom and sister meeting me for lunch at Benihana's. My sister always brings presents. She is back to her old self again and doing great! And she looks great!

The next 4 are of my daughters dance program at the Mall of America.....

She is 4th one from the right

The next one is my son and a friend of ours. His mom made Josh this HUGE spider man pillow and he loved it they are playing here

Ok last one!! Promise ;) this is my daughter and my sisters new puppy Bourke (named after Doonie and Bourke lol)

I lied, one more of my house. I am not sure where this pic came from but you can all see where I live...The big ole green van is my hubby's. We bought it years ago from my cousin, then he bought it back, and well now we have it again lol. 

Belated Christmas wishes and pictures (lots of pictures!)

Merry Late Christmas Jland! I am just going to put some random pics from christmas in this entry. I have a longer entry I want to write about Christmas and how glad I am it is over at a later time. Life is still way stressful and I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day!


This is Christmas Eve after we got all the presents set around the tree.  My sister, son and hubby's son are in this pic


I have no idea why but between my camera and my daughters alot of the pics from that night turned out terrible. But at least it's something to look at ;)



These are a couple pics of my fiber optic houses I collect. I have bought one a year for the last 6 years. I love em!


This is my mother in law who was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had surgery last week and look at her! She is glowing here. She still has the drainage tube in her armpit area and was pretty worn out at the end of the night but she was here and that is all that counts ;) I love this picture of her. This is one of the presents I got her. She loves wolfs. I love this woman more than she will ever know!


This is a fan I bought my sister in law. She LOVES white tigers!



This is a present for my daughter Rayanna from her Aunt Ally, my sister in law. She made all of these beads from clay and the pot in the picture. She does some AMAZING things with clay!


These are 3 purses that hubby's aunt made for my mom, my sister and me. The beige earthtone one is mine, the purple is my moms, and the blue is my sisters. She is amazing at making purses lol! The coolest thing about these purses is that they each have feathers and dreamcatchers with each others colors in each others purse. If that makes any sense lol. For example..... My purse has purple and blue feathers to tie my mom and sister to me. And theirs  is the same. Very very cool!


My daugher at her open house with Santa at her dance school....what a cutie ;)



Ok enough pics for one entry lol! I hope you all had a great holiday and wish you all a Happy New Year!! I am going to do one more random photo entry. And a real entry is still to come. But not tonight.......



Saturday, December 16, 2006

A new day!

Good morning everyone. Thank you to those of you who are being so supportive. It's strange how signing on to aol and seeing your comments really does help! So thank you again!

We are going to Rayanna's dance program thank god she feels well enough to go. She is so frustrated with all of her symptoms, and all of these meds! As of right now she is feeling half way ok, that is not to say in two hours she will not be sick again. But I am keeping my fingers crossed she will actually go all day without the pain, and bleeding, and nausea.

I was reading all of her possible side effects for the 3 new meds I picked up yesterday and the nausea one is scary! It apparently is usually a med for chemo patients and radiation patients. I am going to give it to her as minimal as possible. The one side effect that stuck out to me is it can cause temporary vision loss. I understand it says temporary, and I understand it is only a possible side effect. But how scary is that? It would kill me if that happened to my 10 year old even if it were only temporary!!

One thing I have not explained a whole lot in here is the bleeding I have spoke of a couple times. It may be TMI for some but I will quickly explain it. For the last 10 weeks everytime she goes to the bathroom and goes BM blood drips out of her like a faucet. It is because her lining of her colon is so inflammed. It is bothersome to see so much blood when she goes. She did make a comment last night to me "mom I am starting to get used to it, but everytime I see all the blood it feels so weird because I know it is not supposed to be there"

Well I should end this and get ready to go! I will take pictures at the program to post later. It is a new day and I am feeling a little better. Now I need to try to get everything done that needs to be done. Or at least work at getting what I can done.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Hugs and love,


Friday, December 15, 2006

Anyone got a tissue?

I am usually the rock that holds it all together. I just got home and sat in my truck for the last hour and cried. I am SO tired emotionally! I just needed to let it out because I will not do it around my kids. And honestly try to not do it in front of my hubby either, because he has a hard time dealing with daily life especially the days we have been having for 2 months now.
And let me tell you once I let the tears start flowing they were a river. I got it out of my system for awhile again.
My hubby's mom is doing good today. She is feeling much better now that they got that blood clot taken care of. She said the pain is way less now. She of course is very sore, but she is on good drugs that are taking care of the pain and making her so funny! So now we just keep praying that the cancer has not spread to other parts of her body!!
My daughter was home again from school today throwing up and sick. I talked her GI doctor this afternoon and he called in THREE more meds for her. I swear it is a cycle that seems to be never ending. They give her one thing, then she needs another thing for one and so on and so on......
He wanted to put her on Steroids but I know first hand that there are so many side effects to them. I asked him if there was any other option to try to get the inflammation to decrease in the lining of her colon. He said there was so we are going with that option instead. She will have to do nightly enemas for the next 7 days and again we will hope that it will make her start feeling better. He also put her on a medication for nausea. Also something for pain. The medicine for nausea was $397.00 for 15 pills! That thing must be lined with gold!! All in all it was a thousand dollars worth of prescriptions. Thank god for insurance is all I can say!
Tomorrow afternoon she has a dance programat the Mall of America. We are really hoping she feels ok to go to it. She has really been looking forward to it! I will bring my camera and take pictures if she is well enough to go for an hour.
I am going to lay in bed and hopefully fall asleep. I do not feel like doing much other than that for the rest of the night. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Love you and hugs,

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Yet another update......

Boy was today a stressful day! My mother in law went in at 7:30 this morning to have the wire put in for her surgery. Then went directly to the hospital from there for pre-op. Her surgery was scheduled for 11. They ended up taking her an hour early.
At around 2 in the afternoon her surgeon came out to talk to us. She was in recover. But they took the first lymph node and tested it and it showed that the cancer had spread! We do not have the results yet if the rest have it also. We should know tomorrow. So they took all of her lymph nodes out during surgery.
Around 3 we all got to go see her once they got her situated in her room. Everyone was very scared for her now that we talked with the surgeon for about 30 minutes about where we go from here since the cancer has spread past her breast. That is what we were hoping had not happened. But she seemed in good spirits none the less.
At around 6 she was SO tired and 6 of us went downstairs to grab something to eat. By 6:30 we got the call that they were rushing her back into the operating room because she had a blood clot, and her breast was about 8 times bigger (swollen) than it should be. So we made the calls that needed to made and went back upstairs. We rode in the elevator with her and kissed her.
I was scared, everyone was scared. But we all put on our best faces for her. About 10 minutes after they took her back to the OR 5 more family members showed up very scared and nervous also. I could tell she was scared and trying to do the same thing we were all doing. I think most of us broke down crying privately in our own places.
Around 9 tonight the surgeon came out and told us that everything had went as planned. They drained the clot, and all the blood that had built up. They only had to reopen the breast area, not the lymph node incision. He said all in all she was doing well. The pastor from her mothers church came and prayed with all of us while waiting. It wasn't until about 11 tonight that they brought her back to her room from recovery and we got to see her.
She has had a LONG day! She was really out of it and sleepy. So we all said our I love you's and headed home. On alert thou that we may have to go back if there are anymore complications. My hubby stayed with her. He will spend the night there and stay with her til whenever he needs to.
So as far as the breast cancer goes, she is doing ok. They think they got it all. Now is the waiting game to see if it has spread to other parts of her body since the Lymph Node tested positive for cancer also.
Let me tell you about my morning before I even got to the hospital. I woke up to get my kids off to school. My daughter got on the bus and went fine. But first I was awaken to my dog getting sick in literally about 20 spots in my house with throw up and the runs! NOT fun to wake up to having to clean up. About half way threw it I got sick and threw up from the smell of it!
Then about 5 minutes before my son was due to get on his bus, he got a bloody nose that caused him to miss his bus, and took an hour to stop!
In the middle of trying to get it to stop, I got a call from my daughters school nurse she was very very sick. She was vomiting at school and balled over in pain! I called my 17 yr old and she was able to come here around noon and watch her for me. I hated to leave her and felt terrible, but my 17 year old laid with her and took good care of her. She proceeded to get sick and hurt badly all day and night until she fell asleep. This Colitis flare up is SO terrible! God do I feel bad for her. The worst part is that there isreally nothing I can do for her. It makes it so damn frustrating!
So once my daughter was here to watch her I headed to the hospital and that is where the beginning of this entry started.
My emotions are soooooo tired right now! I am a bundle of feelings. I am very overwhelmed, scared, frustrated, sad, relieved, happy, angry, just to name a few all mixed into one!
I also just found out that my mother probably has cancer in her kidney's and liver! We took her to Mayo clinic 6 months ago and they did a new CT scan this last week and the masses are all still there. All in all it looks to be 8 of them! This is a whole different entry for a different day.
And I still have not even half of my Christmas shopping done. I just cannot seem to find the time! I am getting a little nervous because time is running out. But Christmas really is not about the material stuff and everything else going on definitely takes priority. I will do what I can and the best I can but that is all I can do. Since my whole family is going threw all of this stress together there is not one person that would not understand if things are not bought, or even ready on Christmas.
I am going to end this now and try to relax for a bit and hope I can sleep tonight and do not get a call to go back to the hospital.
I just really have to wonder................When is enough enough?? How much exactly does god think he can put on one person or families plate at one time??
I usually reread my entries to catch any typos but I do not have the energy to do that tonight.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Another update

Hi everyone. Another stressful week and it is only Monday! We got the last two test results back from my daughters test to find out that she is also Lactose Intolerant, and has Esophigitus Reflux. I feel SO bad for her because this flare up of hers has been going on for two months, and she just flat out is not feeling to great still! Her stomach hurts her so bad she balls over and lays on me. She has problems in the bathroom. She is getting fevers, she has a hard time sleeping. So far neither medicine they put her on is helping.
We have a very long appointment tomorrow at the University of MN with my sons Genetics team. We have to be there at 7:30 AM. They have asked us to bring a ton of pictures of him from birth up, and of all surgeries. They have also asked for all of his medical records we have, I asked the woman I had to speak with for about 30 minutes today going over family health history "Do you have a dump truck?" lol
This will be the beginning process to getting some unanswered questions we have had for many years about my son. We will definitely be finding out at least one maybe two or three more Syndromes he has. And this will be the beginning to find out if he is Autistic as well.
Then on Thursday morning at the crack of dawn we will be bringing Bills mom to pre-op for her surgery that morning. They will be taking out the one Lymph node right away and testing it for cancer also. Please pray for her that this cancer has not spread anywhere else. If it shows that it has the whole surgery will change.
My daughter has about 5 days left to take these pills and will end up back in the hospital if she is not getting any better.
Oh and I have bought THREE presents so far! Trying to find the time to get it all done is seeming virtually impossible! I usually LOVE Christmas time. And this year I am just not feeling it. I am not feeling the Joy and Happiness! There is so much sickness and sadness going on. Hubby is scrooge of all scrooges, because this last month and half have been extremely overwhelming for him!
What else? We went to the concert with our moms, and both of our sisters on Friday night. We had a blast! The concert was great. I pictured Air Supply as a quiet mellow concert, but it was loud and funny ;) The lead singer walked the aisles and we were in the 8th row center at the end of the row and my mom was on the aisle seat, so when he walked by her he caressed her face for a few seconds. It was very cute, she loved it! She was the reason we were even there since she loves Air Supply!
Our 4 rooms were two Suites and two standard rooms and each standard room was connected to each suite. And all of the rooms were right across the hall from one another. So after the concert we went to one of the bars there and had a couple drinks. Then went back up to the rooms and took the tables out of each room and put them together in one and played Mexican Dominoes for hours. We had room service bring a couple rounds of drinks up for us also. In the morning we all ate at the yummy buffet and headed home.
My 17 yr old was here overnight watching my kids and they had my house such a damn mess! I was not real happy about that! Another BIG news thing was found out recently also. Our 17 yr old is pregnant also!! It took us aback! We were in the hospital with our 10 year old when we found out. Hubby found out the same day we found out his mother had cancer. So yeah we are a little overwhelmed, and frazzled, and having a hard time dealing with SO much at one time!
NEVER A DULL MOMENT in my world I tell you! Please keep my mother in law and my daughter's in your thoughts still. I will update on her surgery and my daughter as soon as I can.
I hope everyone is doing good. Have a good week!
Love and Hugs,


Sunday, December 10, 2006

My counter reset itself! Grrrrrrrr......................

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Remembering last year at this time......

Last year at this time I took my kids to Nashville Tennessee to the Grand Ole Opry. We had a blast! We went to see the show "Ice" and it was SO cold in the exhibit, but it was beautiful! I will post some pictures from it since I think I didn't get around to doing it last Dec ;)

Aren't the parkas cute? We had our own winter coats on under these beautiful things lol....

The things they can do with ice sculptures is so cool! If you ever get the chance to go see this show at Christmas time I would say do it! It was kind of expensive to get in considering you do not spend a lot of time there, since it is so cold. But man it is pretty! Afterwards we took a carriage ride around the Grand Ole Opry for about an hour and that was beautiful also!

We thought of going to Florida next week for a week. But now with everything going on with my daughter we have decided against it. We will stay here and plan for something in the spring.

Keeping your soul young..........

We do not stop playing because we grow old;

We grow old because we stop playing.

Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!

Results in finally!


Hi everyone. Well we finally got the results back from my daughters tests and biopsy's. She does have Ulcerative Colitis. Her GI doctor called in a new prescription for her yesterday called Asacol that he intends for her to take indefinately. 4 pills a day.

I did a bunch of researching on it last night and honestly did not like all the forums I read about this drug. It causes many side effects for most people and has actually made the flare ups worse.

They call it a disease, as it is not curable (with the exception of surgery to remove the colon, intestines and rectum) they say that is the only way you can get rid of it. But to me that is not an option right now for a 10 year old.

Her doctor told us to try it for 10 days and if there was not dramatic improvement they will be admitting her again and doing more tests and at that point figure out what will work for her.

She is still feeling really rough! She has not felt good for 2 months now. I feel bad for her. She was just as glad as I was tho to finally get some sort of results as to what has been making her feel so terrible and tired, and sore.

I printed a ton of stuff last night related to Colitis and I think this is going to be a very frustrating thing for her to have to deal with at such a young age. They have support groups at Childrens Hospital and I think I may sign up for one that we can go to together.

When the flare ups go away they call it in remission. Her flare up is not gone yet. Which is why she is feeling so crappy.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that she will start feeling better since she already spent Thanksgiving in the hospital, I would hate for her to have to be there over Christmas also! But if it ends up that way well then we will just bring Christmas to her ;) ALL of us lol

I have not started shopping yet, I have 3 presents bought and that is it! We did finally get the outside lights up, and my tree is up and my house is decorated! I have not even bought my cards to send out yet this year! I have a HUGE list of to do's this weekend. I am hoping I can power shop and get it all done on Saturday and Sunday.

Tomorrow night hubby and I are taking my mom, and his mom to see Air Supply ( both of them love em!). We will sit in the lounge afterwards and have a few drinks then stay in these beautiful suites that night. We are treating both of them to the whole evening. My sister and her B/F will have a room also. I think hubby's mom will have a blast, it is going to be her last outing before she has surgery, and has chemo and radiation!

I remember when I was a kid my mom loved her some Air Supply! The first pay preview event she ever ordered was their concert. She has a friend over and they acted like little girls lol! So she is pretty excited too.

I think it will be fun. It gives me a excuse to get all dressed up and have fun for a night.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I took Marina's advice and deleted all of my alerts, there were way to many to catch up on. So now I am able to start reading again. I still need to go threw all the comments left over the couple weeks and start visiting some of these wonderful peoples journals!

HUGS AND MORE HUGS to everyone!


Monday, December 4, 2006

Update again

Hi everyone I am just doing another quick update. I have SO many journals to read. My mailbox is so full. My daughter is still feeling so rough. And we still have no answers. The results from her tests done on the 24th should be back this week, and I really hope we get some kind of answer!
It is so hard to not know what is wrong with her, and so hard to help her feel better when nothing seems to work!
I have been sick again to with a terrible cold. Not fun!
Hubby's mom had her consult appointment at the Breast Center last Wednesday and we took her to it. It was SO much information packed into 3 hours. The type of breast cancer she has is Invasive Ductal Carsinoma. She opted to do the Lumpectomy on the 16th of this month. Followed with 6 weeks of Chemo, then 6 weeks of Radiation.
They will remove one Lymph Node during surgery and test it to see if the cancer has spread, if so they will remove all the nodes there.
She is scared but doing ok. My hubby is a wreck worrying about her, which is understandable! She has a TON of paperwork to fill out for different agencies to help her. We were told there is something called Charity Care that may pick up where her minimal little crappy insurance of $10,000.00 max cuts off. We are keeping are fingers crossed!
I got my christmas tree up a day and a half ago, I usually do it right after Thanksgiving but have not had the time. I also got all my decorations around the house put up. We are doing the outside lights today.
I JUST got my Christmas lists made and have a ton of shopping left to do. I plan on going this weekend coming up and getting it all done over the weekend.
I will keep updating as I can. I hope everyone is doing well!
I love you and HUGS,

Monday, November 27, 2006

Another quick update

Hi everyone I just wanted to do another quick update. My daughter is home now. We will not have the results of the tests, or biopsy's for at least a week. There was really nothing at the hospital being done that cannot be done here at home. I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying that we will get an answer finally as to what is wrong with her, but that it will be something treatable!
Her poor hand is so sore from her IV. They tried 5 times before they found a spot that was good enough to use, and it was right on the bone on inside of her wrist. She was REALLY happy to have it removed, but it is so sore she keeps putting warm clothes on it.
She got put on a liquid diet Thanksgiving morning, I felt so bad she could not eat a good thanksgiving meal! I did have a plate saved for her tho that she ate two days later.
I wish I had more answers to give, but I don't! I woke up this morning AGAIN with my throat so swollen and sore! I think I'm so wore out that I probably am more quick to get sick. I will be going for another strep test this afternoon.
We got some terrible news about 2 hours ago. Hubby is up north til tonight and just called me to let me know the results of his mothers biopsy she had done last week. She has Breast Cancer. It is devestating to us because she has no medical insurance! Wednesday she will go in for her treatment options, and we will go from there! This woman is amazing and I have to believe that we will come up with something for her to be able to get the required treatment she needs! I love her equally as I do my own mother! She is my confidant in all aspects of life! So once again I am asking for any prayer requests and as many as possible here in Jland! Her name is Wendy and I sure would appreciate it! Prayer works miracles I do know first hand!
The amount of responses I got here in my journal for my daughter was amazing! You guys are all amazing! I plan to tell everyone thank you but I just do not have the time to do that right now. Everyone new who came to visit....I will be coming to your journals and saying hi when I have the time!
I will end this for now and update again when I am able to give more answers.
I love you and hugs,
P.S. My daughter LOVED all the comments left for her in my last 2 thank you again! It made her smile ;)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Quick update

Today my daughter had a endoscopy and colonoscopy done. At the same time they also did a biospy on her stomach, liver, colon, and esophagus. We will not have any of the results back from them for at least a week. Every test we have done to see what could possibly be wrong with her has came back negative until yesterday evening when the results from her stool sample came back.
They said her white blood cell count was very high inside of her colon. But not real sure what is causing that. There is ALOT of unanswered questions right now. This may not even make sense to any of you. I just wanted to give a quick update.
The amount of comments I got in the last few days is absolutely amazing! I am going to print them out and show them to my daughter ;) Lisa and Emily you two are the sweetest women for the prayer requests on your journals! Thank you it means more to me than you could possible know! I will update again soon........
HUGS and Love you and Thank you!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Please pray for my daughter!

Hi just a quick update since I have been away again. My daughter is still very sick! She was admited to Childrens Hospital 2 days ago. I just came home tonight. I have slept 2 hours in the last two days :(
Hubby made me go home tonight and I will go back in the morning. I got sick last night also, but when your a mom you grin and bear it.
They gave Rayanna Morphine last night for her pain and she had a bad reaction to it and felt like she could'nt breath and her arms were hurting her. They then gave her Demiral (sp?) and that seemed to finally put her to sleep around 3 AM.
I have nothing to tell right now as to what is wrong with her. Just please keep her in your thoughts and prayers! I will update again when she is discharged and home and I have the time.
Tomorrow we will spend Thanksgiving at the hospital with her, my sister and sister in law will bring us all plates. Then her dad and his g/f will be there in the evening also to spend the night with her.
We had non stop visitors today starting with her dad at 10 this morning, and we had 9 different family members come from then to 9 tonight. She sure got some cute bears and balloons!
I am going to take a shower now and try to get some sleep! I plan on getting up early in the AM and heading back down there with my son.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! And again please keep my daughter in your prayers!
I love you and hugs!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

You know I was just thinking, I asked you all to send me links if you had written a entry in this last week. I have had a busy week and had a brain fart!
All of your links are in my own journal! DUH lmao........
I could have just checked on my own!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Where is everyone?

I do not think that my alerts are working? Is everyone doing ok? If you have wrote an entry in this last weeks time plzzzzz send me a email and let me know lol

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Finally a real entry!


Your Dreams May be Closer than you think......
If you believe you, you will.
Stay focused on what you want to happen,
and don't lost sight of the goals ahead.
You are never alone when you have
others who believe in you.
Borrow their faith in you if yours
is running low.
When you think you can't take
another step,
someone will help you find a way,
even if they must carry you for
And always remember.......
only by believing in your dreams
will you ever know what you are
capable of achieving.
Only by believing in yourself will
your dreams come true!
So reach down deep inside,
bring them out,
and make them come to life!
Hiya everyone. I have a really cool calendar that has awesome inspirations. It hangs in my kitchen and my kids read them. there are some awesome lessons in life in that thing ;)
Hmm lets see, what has been going on with me? Lets start with my daughter. She is doing better, still not using the bathroom what we would consider normal, but she is on antibiotics and a laxative (which she hates! lol). Gwen you were right about the bladder infection part, she definitely had one. But after being on the med's for 6 days they were not happy with her still not peeing only one time per 30+ hours, which is why they were concerned and had me bring her to Children's Hospital. But the great news is her kidneys are functioning perfectly so that is not the cause of any of these problems.
She also just got her first period last Friday! she is 10! reminded me very quickly how fast she is growing up to get that call from her at school that day! She did awesome thou, we have had that talk and I have explained the whole process to her many times before so she was calm and ok with it.....whew! :)
I posted pictures of my bathroom awhile back and commented that I hated the carpet in there. Carpet does not belong next to a shower and tub! It is gone now, I had it tiled and it looks great!
Last night I painted my dining room. The woman who owned this house before me was older and she TRIED to get really creative in every and I mean every room in this house. But her creative side must not have been flowing the days she painted! room by room I have been updating and making things match, and redoing her paint jobs that were 3 different colors per room, and terrible!
We painted it a dark brown, I was kind of worried about it turned out great! It looks awesome! I am going to be getting a new dining room table and hutch for my dining room. I have a really nice solid oak one now, but I really want a dark set, almost rustic looking to go with all my Native American themed things I have in my one big hutch in there.
I collect Trail of Painted Ponies and have a lot of them, I collect Indiandolls and have quiet a few of them also. I have also over the years traveling and going to pow wows collected just random beautiful things like baskets, figurines, wolves, eagles ect.
I am very proud of the things I have found over the years and love to display them!! The best place to find great stuff is at random pow wows because there is always different stuff you would never find at say Target, Walmart, or a mall.
My sisters baby shower was on Saturday at my brothers house and a lot of family from up north came down for it. It was really fun! I bought her a TON of stuff! She is definitely set for a little bit. She got so many cool and cute things! She is doing ok. I worry about her because her B/F is really a dickhead! (pardon my french!). He calls her names ALL the time. I wanna smack him lol
She is trying hard to do the right thing, and it seems he drags her down. He makes her so unhappy. When she is with me, my mother, or anyone else she is laughing and carefree then when he comes around she is down. But what can I do? absolutely nothing. I can talk to her and hope a little sinks in. I can remind her she has worked very hard to get her life together and she is beautiful and has a ton to offer and that she does not need to deal with his shit. But beyond that it is her life and her choices to make.
He is very insecure, and very controlling. He has to be with her every time she even goes to see my mom. That to me is bull! She is still very young and if she wants to spend a day with her mother he should let her. No man would ever tell me I was not allowed to spend time with my family unless he was there. It does NOT work that way!
So I worry that she is so young now and letting him treat her this way, what is she going to do as she gets older? My daughter spent the night with her about a week ago, and Kate and J were fighting because she wanted to go with my daughterto hang out at my moms house. He turned around and said to my 10 year old in reference to something she said......"Because your aunt is a whore!"...... WTF??? That is not ok ever! I do not ever talk to my kids like that so this young man sure and the hell is not going to!
So if he is willing to talk to my 10 year old like that about her what the hell is he going to do with their baby? Can you tell this is a touchy subject with me? The sailor in me came out more than usual lmao!
After my sisters shower her and the jerk and 5 other people came back to my house and we played games and karaoke all night. Everyone spent the night because we were up so late. We had a blast. We play Mexican dominoes for like 3 hours that game is so fun!
We went over to our daughters place last night to pick up all of our painting stuff. It stunk SO bad in there! I went over there last month and put the whole house together for them and I think it is safe to say they have not done one thing in there since.  It's funny her B/F comes over here and calls more than she does! She does not call hardly ever and when she does it is because she needs money or to use our puters or washer and dryer. I guess that is the way it goes tho huh? But that doesn't mean I have to like it!
My hubby is going up north to hang out with the boys for a few days today. He will be gone til this weekend. I told him last night to go. He said ok, so that's that ;)
You know I have been thinking a lot about "me" lately and have came to a point in my life as a woman and a mother, that I am trully fearless of ever having to do it all alone! I think back to my 20's and I was scared to death! I'm not anymore. It is a very calming feeling to lose that fear. It feels great as a woman to know without a doubt that I will ALWAYS be ok, I will always have the strength I need to do whatever it is that needs to be done.
Well I will end this now it got really long. And think I was just getting started!! I will try to update more often again. I hope everyone is having a great day!
I love you and hugs!!!
one last picture of my daughter as a baby. I love this picture of her!


Friday, November 10, 2006

Quick update

Just wanted to let you all know I am alive. My daughter has some unanswered medical issues going on, we have been to urgent care and Children's Hospital ER a total of 15 hours in the last 5 days. I will explain more in detail when I have more time. The first thing that concerned me was the fact that for the last 9 days she has only peed a total of 6 times, which obviously means that she has went three whole days without going at all. That is not normal!
At Children's last night they drained her bladder, and the amount that they drained she should have felt like she had to pee, but she didn't.
There is more I will write a real entry as soon as I can. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers that whatever it is that is going on is nothing to serious!
Love you all and hugs,
It SNOWED here today, enough to make a nice mess to drive in!! It was 72 degrees two days ago, now it is 30. WTF? I am thinking half of Minnesotans are going to be sick very soon!

Sunday, November 5, 2006

A bit better today

Thank you very much for the comments.  I am still very sick but the swelling is going down! I actually managed to eat half a bowl of soup yesterday afternoon even tho it did make my throat bleed (because it was so swollen) and late last night I drank a malt.  I am about 50% better. But man oh  man did this Strep kick my ass! I am considering trying to get my tonsils taken out because I flat out do not have the time or energy to be this sick again with something that I thought you weren't even supposed to get as an adult anymore and sure the hell not at this level!
I have been totally out of commission since last Wednesday! My hubby has been great and did the best he can.  But my house is a mess, my washer managed to break a day into me being sick (and EVERYTHING bedding wise, ect needs to be washed),  I am a week behind paying any bills that I usually pay around the first of the month,  I have no groceries in my fridge,  my truck desperately needs a oil change,  I missed both my kids conferences (hubby took them) which is a first ever, my dog needs to be groomed,  my S-Video cable died on my big screen so you can hear it but get no picture, I could go on and on but my point is in a weeks time everything seemed to fall apart so it is a damn good thing I am starting to feel better!
I am not going to push myself I will take it easy for another day or two but I have SO much to catch up on once I am all the way better! My 10 year old has been such a sweetheart! She keeps freezing towels and bringing me a fresh cold one every 3 hours or so to go on my head, throat, or neck. She keeps bringing me thermometer to take my temp, she lays with me and rubs my head, or just lays by me to keep me company and plays on her laptop.  Every time I wake up she asks "How are you feeling mom?".  She is such a angel! I love that little girl so much!
Well that's it for today I just didn't want you all to worry! Your comments are so sweet! I love you all!
Hugs and more to hugs to you,

Saturday, November 4, 2006

So sick!

Hi everyone. Just stopping by quick to let you know I am way behind on everything! I have the WORST case of strep throat I ever knew was possible! I spent 49 hours straight in bed. Then went to Doctors and was given a shot in my butt which as of today 2 days later has done nothing for me! I actually feel worse today then I did then.

My throat is so swollen that there is probably about the size of a straw tip that is actually opened. I can barely drink water. I have not eaten anything in 3 days. I am just hoping I will start getting better soon!

I will catch up with your journals when I am feeling better. I have so many alerts in my mailbox, but I just do not have the energy to read them all. I hope everyone is doing good!



Thursday, October 26, 2006

Part 2 to new pics

Josh got his school pios back today so I figured I may as well add his too, He has two poses, one is OH so serious, and the other is his cheesy smile ;)  I also was messing around with that pic of me and got two I think are kinda cool so I am going to add those too.