Saturday, December 24, 2005

Can anyone tell me?

I have noticed recently that people are using other backgrounds on their journals..... I have wanted to do that since the day I started mine. Can someone please tell me how I go about doing this? Thanks in advance if you leave a comment!

Here is a few funny pics ;)

He must REALLY want that puter lol. Or his woman does and she made him do that!

Whatever works lmao

HUH? lmao

This was the cake topper to the guy on the top pic lol

Try having fun at this Park!!!

I have more but I will stop for now........

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I am all done!

I am so relieved I finished my shopping last night! My sister in law and I went out yesterday from 10-almost 8. I did have a Chiropractor appt at 2, and my 9 yr old and I had a eye appt last night at 5:30 and 5:45. But once we got to the mall I was told "Oh no you must not have recieved our message, the doc called in sick"

I was actually glad it got rescheduled til the same time tonight. It gave me those few more hours to get my last things on my list. My kids made out like bandits this year. Really everybody did. I have spent so much money it's ridiculous, but hey that is what Christmas is about, giving lol

The only problem was around midnight when my SIL and I were wrapping we ran out of wrapping paper and tape. So off to Walmart we went. Came home, finished wrapping and organized them all near my tree and that's the end of that story!

Almost a week ago I really thought I was close to done and man was I wrong! Now the only thing I left to do is run to the grocery store and get dinner for Christmas Eve night.

There is a good chance that on the 27th we are going to be taking off and going to Nashville, Tennessee to the Grand Ole Opry. I have been there once about 14 years ago at Christmas time and it is beautiful there this time of year. We will be driving and it is a 13 hour drive but will be so much fun.

I am one of those plan trips at the last minute people. When I get a idea I just kinda go with it. I do not think that I have ever planned any trip wether it be to Vegas, Florida, ect more then a week in advance (with the exeption of Joshua's surgeries and appt's at Georgetown).

I have always thought it was fun that way. Gives life a little excitement ;)

On a whole different subject. My neck and back are so screwed that I have been waking up around 5 AM quite often getting sick. It sucks let me tell you! My Chiro wrote a recommendation for Childcare and Housekeeping services. So that I can take it VERY easy for 30-60 days doing nothing. It will be very nice so my body can start to heal but very strange to me because I have "my" ways of running my home. I can see myself after the housekeeper leaves going behind her and redoing what is not up to my standards lol

Well I need to get in the shower and off to yet another Chiro appt at 2. I hope everyone is having a great Holiday Season!

I am not sure why these are so blurry but you can get the idea of the amount of presents I have wrapped lol. Please noone ask my what I got my kids I don't remember it all ;)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Can I go to bed yet?

This last week has been the week that never ends! I have been Christmas shopping every single day, and then when my kids go to bed I wrap for 2-3 hours! I have been doing this for 5 nights straight! They are all getting so spoiled this year.

Every other year I have always still been out on Christmas Eve Day buying those last minute presents and I swore to myself I would be done a little early this year and I do believe I am going to be done with at least a week to spare! WHEW I am so proud of myself!

I also almost always have wrapped everything at once which I now realize why it was a good idea. I have not been writting down what I have been wrapping and honestly have NO clue what is what and what all I have got lmao..... OOPS!

I know that I have used 65 present labels so far, and still have a little more to get in the next two days.

Here's a good one for you moms out there......

3 days ago I was gone pretty much all day Xmas shopping. I saw my 9 year old in the morning before school. Then again at around 6 when I brought dinner home for them. I asked them all to go into the basement so I could bring a bunch of bags in. Well she had a attitude about that. I said to her you know it must be really rough, I have been out shopping all day to make sure you all get what you want and simply ask you to go downstairs for a tiny bit and you give me a hard time about it? So she went obviously. So then we all eat and I went out again to Target and Best Buy all to come home to a letter on my counter from her that says.... "Mom, Goodnight. I am sad right now because I have not spent any time with you. It sucks! I only saw you twice today."

Ok now granted she should miss me when I am gone, I was thinking shit could you give me any harder of a time for breaking my back to make you all happy? I have been so sick, and in so much pain since my car accident and way over doing it because I do not have a choice you would think I would get nothing but appreciation not shit! lol

Man I was pissed that evening, feeling really unappreciated. I wrote her a letter back and then by the next morning she said sorry and was all better lmao...... KIDS!

Ok ready for this, I wake up this morning to this.......... we had hardly any snow at all when I went to bed......


So Because I did not want that drift to collapse into my garage I took my sore, tired ass outside and used my snow blower at 9 AM and did my driveway. Then drove my son to school and the roads sucked! My 16 yr old was and hour and a half late to school because of her bus! But it didn't stop snowing all day! So my son gets home from school at 4 and falls not once, not twice, but 3 times in our driveway into the bigass drifts of new snow that had fallen. So I go out once again for the second time and do the driveway again. 

I did my good deed for the day tho tonight, a newer neighbor of mine that moved in not to long ago had not shoveled or anything once today and his whole driveway looked like the tall drifts in my driveway. Well he apparently does not own a snow blower so at 8 tonight he was out there shoveling, so I yelled across the street to him "Do you not have a snow blower?" His response... "I sure and the hell would not be out here shoveling if I did!"... DUH I knew that lmao... so I told him to come over and borrow mine. He could not believe it he was so happy it saved him so much time!

Well thats about it for today I am going to try to get 4 and half hours sleep now! Gnite...

Here is one more pic for road ;)



Sunday, December 11, 2005

Another random photo entry

I took some pictures tonight of a few of my christmas things. I bought these really cool reindeer candle holders at Pierre One yesterday and all the makings of the candle centerpiece on my coffee table. I know I already have one pic of my tree in an earlier entry, but this is a night one I love it!

Somehow my journal has turned into my life thru pictures lol. I am enjoying using them tho so that's what counts right? :) Now I really am going to bed!

Cool book I bought.....

I bought this cool book called "The Complete Guide to Natural Healing" they send me packets every couple weeks til the book is full and man it is cool! There is all kinds of interesting stuff in it so I figured I would share some home remedies in the book in my journal ;)


For Bladder and Kidneys....

Basil tea can soothe an irratated and inflamed bladder or kidneys. Pour 1 cup of boiling water over 2 tsp. each of fresh basil and birch leaves; let it steep for about 10 minutes. Drink 1 cup 3 times a day between meals until the symptoms disappear.


Some interesting things you can use honey for.....

Honey helps restore energy, has a general calming effect and helps to dissolve mucus. Applied externally to the the skin, it disinfects and heals minor wounds.

Relaxing honey bath....

Put 2 oz. of honey in a glass with 5 drops of lavender oil. If the honey is too thick, heat it by placing the glass in warm water. Add 1 or 2 tbsp. of the honey-lavender mixture to your bathwater to help you relax and combat insomnia.

Honey as a dressing for wounds.....

Applied externally, honey is useful for healing minor cuts, and abrasions by drawing excess water from the tissues and reducing swelling. In addition, honey contains a germ-killing substance called inhibine, which helps prevent infections. Spread the honey directly on the wound and cover with a sterile bandage.

Help for Hay Fever.....

Honey contains grains of pollen that, over time, may have a desensitizing effect, making it useful for the relief of allergies. Hay fever sufferers are advised to eat honey that has been harvested locally.

For relief of asthma, bronchitis and other respiratory ailments......

Honey is an outstanding household remedy that can be used in combination with various medicinal herbs. For relief of coughs and wheezing associated with bronchitis, whooping cough or other minor respiratory ailments, mix 1 tsp of finely chopped fresh thyme in a little honey. Take the mixture orally as needed to soothe inflammed lungs and aiways.

Use of Olive Oil.....

Olive oil can help build strong fingernails and soften cuticles. Before bed, soak your nails in a mixture of lukewarm olive oil and lemon juice. Put on soft cloth gloves and let the oil penetrate overnight. Your nails will gradually become more resistant to breaking and chipping.

Extra Tip...

Apply olive oil daily to dry spots or stretch marks.


Last one for this entry ;)

Uses for Potatoes ;)

A potato wrap for pain relief....

The potato wrap has a long history as a folk remedy for all types of muscle and bone pain. Potatoes retain heat for long periods of time, allowing the warmth to penetrate deep into the tissues. To make the wrap, boil 1 lb. of potatoes in their skins until tender. Place them in a linen sack and mash them. Apply the sack to the affected area, placing a towel underneath the sack if it's too hot. Attach the sack tightly to your body with a woolen blanket. Remove the sack only after it has cooled down completely.

Raw Potatoes for Inflammation......

The cooling effect of raw potato slices bring fast relief from swelling (and itching) caused by contact dermititis and insect bites. The slices are also effective for bruises as well as sties that occur on the eyelids. Peel and slice a potato and apply a slice to the affected skin until the potato warms up. Repeat as neccessary.

Potato Juice for Heartburn.......

Potato juice helps reduce stomach acid and heal gastrointestinal inflammation because it contains compounds that coat the lining of the stomach. Use a juicer to extract the juice from 1-2 large potatoes (with the skins). Take a 3-4 tbsp. of the juice half an hour before meals. If you do not like the taste of potato juice when taken straight, mix it with another vegetable juice (such as carrot or beet) or add it to soup.


K that's enough for one entry! I hope I didn't bore you to death lol. But if you found that interesting please let me know I will add a few a couple times a week. I am off to bed I am so sleepy!!! Gnite  

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

So serious but oh so cute!!

This is my baby with his sister. Damn is he fine!! ;)

Update on my broken heart

As of today we are still seperated, but plan on working towards getting back together. We are miserable apart, yet making each other miserable being together if that makes any sense.

I love him so much and cannot imagine not loving him for the rest of our lives. But everything in life takes work.

He came home two days ago and spent the night because he is staying 4 hours away up North at his best friends house. And they had to come down Sunday night.

We talked, and spent some good quality time together. But when the morning came the next day it was hard as hell to let him leave again. Nor did he want to go.

But we talked about it and decided it would be best to find the answers we need to find before he moves back home. Find the answers we need to make it better before letting our hearts get the best of us.

So right now I am doing ok. I have some pretty serious medical issues going on right now and have been so busy with appt's and trying to get thru each day that I have not had much time to lay in bed and cry even if I wanted too! But that is a good thing because I need to keep moving.

I have faith in what we share, I have faith in our love, and I have faith in him that changes can and will be made. It is just going to compromise and time!

Random photo entry

I have been trying to get my pictures organized on my computer and have came across some that I really like so I figured I would put them in my journal for all to see lol

This one is of my daughters a couple years ago they just look so cute!

The next two are of my son being a ham ;)

This next one is of my surprise birthday party my hubby threw for me a couple years ago. With my sister holding my hair lol

This next one is not that great quality wise but I love the look on Rayanna and Joshua's faces!  It was from last Halloween.....

The next one is of a board game my daughter made in school  couple weeks ago. I think it's really cool!

The next two are of floral arrangments I have made in my house.

K thats enough pictures for one entry lol sorry if I bored ya to death ;)


Got it all done......

I cannot believe after the last couple weeks I have had that I actually just finished all my Christmas cards and they are ready to send! My hand hurts like hell but either way they are done ;)

I sort of cheated this year and made the mailing labels and address labels on the computer. But even that was still time consuming.

I also got my tree put up and house decorated a couple days ago ;) Now I just need to finish shopping. Which I am sure I will be doing up til the last minute lol

I went and bought some new ornaments this year and love the colors together that I chose I think it looks great!

The not so fun part tho was last year we had this great idea to start using a fake tree, because up until then we always had a real tree. Well we bought this one because it is so pretty BUT it had 800 multi-colored lights pre strung into it.

Well this year I did not want multi colored like the ones in it SO my sister in law and I sat on my living room floor for hours and took all 800 of them out of the tree so that now each year I can put whatever color I am using that year. Man my fingers hurt when we were done! Actually they still do.

So lesson of this entry to you all..... Unless you always use the same decorations and color schemes on your Christmas tree do not EVER buy a pre lit tree lol!

I also bought these really really cute stockings that match my family room!

Monday, November 28, 2005

This was Our song

"Spend My Life With You"
(feat. Tamia)

I never knew such a day could come
And I never knew such a love
Could be inside of one

And I never knew what my life was for
But now that you're here I know for sure

I never knew till I looked in your eyes
I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life
And I never knew that my heart could feel
So precious and pure
One love so real

Can I just see you every morning when
I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you

Now baby the days and the weeks
And the years will roll by
But nothing will change the love inside
Of you and I

And baby I'll never find any words
That could explain
Just how much my heart my life
My soul you've changed

Can you run to these open arms
When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
I'm your woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

No touch has ever felt so wonderful
(You are incredible)
And a deeper love I've never known
(I'll never let you go)
I swear this love is true
(Now and forever to youto you)
Can I just see you every morning when

I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you
Can you run to these open arms

When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
You're my woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just spend my life with you
(Forever here with you)
Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just see you every morning when I
Open my eyes

Picking up the pieces

Well after 8 years it is over :( He packed his stuff and left tonight. We have built a "home" together, made a family together, laughed together, fought together, cried together, spent many sleepless nights over our son together, and now we are walking away from all we have built.

My question in my head right now is...."Where do I go from here?" I knew it was coming to a point where something had to happen I just didn't think the FINAL stage was going to happen tonight.

We fight over the stupidest things, and also some pretty major things! Either way even tho I had a feeling the end may be near it does NOT make it any easier to accept right now this time, nor does it make my heart feel any better!

He drove me crazy but damn am I going to miss him!

I have lived and breathed him as my soul mate and lifelong partner for almost a decade! Every inch of our home is what we made together! So many memories, so many letters, so many cards, so many presents, so many photos.

He packed up and left vowing never to return and I sit here with "our" 3 children heartbroken and have to some how swallow my sadness to make sure that they will all be ok!?

He was my one and only "true" love, and I swear that reguardless of all the hurtful things that have happened in all these years I fully intended on loving him until lifes end!

I have never ever spoke of this in my journal but find no reason not to anymore.

He has Bi-Polar and has not been on meds one time in all of our years together. He has of course promised me many times (after terrible fights) that he would go on them. But that time never came. I knew NOTHING about this illness until a few years into our relationship when I realized I needed to learn in order to be ok and understand some of his actions.

Me being a calm, quiet person had a very very hard time understanding that something could cause a person to react so EXTREME to things was an illness. I thought I was right for him, I thought I was capable of loving him how he needed to be loved, only to be told whenever he was having a bad manic episode completely different.

He is walking away from us blaming me for everything and feeling rejected, unloved, and unsupported. And that pisses me off more then I could ever explain because I have spent 8 years giving him everything I possibly could!

My nerves, heart, and head have been worn thin and I have came to a point in my life I realized I have to take care of myself also and came to a point I have realized that I have not done that in so long that if I do not start doing it I will not be ok. And I need to be ok period! I am a mother of 3 beautiful children who need me to be around for a lot longer.

I just always had this picture in my head that it would be him and I always! Old together (probably cratchity!lol) rocking in our chairs at some cabin on a lake.

I am having a hard time accepting that whereever he is right now he is not feeling the same way, or is he??

Damn I love him! Damn I wish he would see that! I wish he would stop taking away from it all and just let it be and focus on "us" and his "family" and let all the outside distractions go for awhile! I am so angry right now, so lost, so hurt!

I will be ok tho because I do not have a choice in the matter. I will put one foot in front of the other and pray that if it trully were meant to be he will do what needs to be done and come home sometime, someday.

May be wishful thinking, but I swear to god I have not put this much of myself into us to let it go if there is even the remote possibility that he is feeling the same way.

Or should I?? I have lots of soul searching to do. And with him gone I will be able to do that.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


I asked both of my kids over the last couple days to clean their rooms. My 9 year old and my 16 year old and here is what I got......

My 16 year olds room clean!

Now my 9 year olds lol...... whats wrong with this picture??

and one more... sorry about the flash in the mirror lol

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Another photo entry

I am so proud yesterday I finally did something I have been wanting to do for a couple years. I have a storage room in my basement that I really wanted to use as my space to wrap presents, do crafts, ect and just never seemed to find the time to get it organized! It sort became the throw all room where you could not even walk in it, let alone find anything! My whole basement is kinda one of those spaces. I had BIG plans for it 3 years ago and have done a few things, like new carpet but other then that its my DUH space lol




I can finally walk in there! I also tackled my upstairs hallway and landing in between main level and upstairs over the last week. I think it looks way better now. I redid the whole hallway and above the landing in Antique White then used a pretty wine color in landing. What do you think?

Here is before....

and here is after.... I also painted a piece of trim to seperate the two colors which I think turned out pretty nice looking if I do say so myself!



My IOU's

I was reading Marina's entry about great gift ideas and she had the idea of IOU's done however you would like. With some great ideas how to make them look nice. I have been doing this for a long time with my hunny. I think I told her it was for our Anniversary and I was wrong. It was for his Birthday this year.

He had been up North for almost two weeks working and we met in Duluth the day before his birthday and stayed in Canal Park (for those who do not know this is right on Lake Superior, and there is a draw bridge for all the ships that come and go there) We walked down there quite a few times once even at 2AM to watch 2 enormous ships come thru.

There is a ton of shops and resaurants, and an aquarium, and Imax, and horse carriage rides you can take depending on how much you want to spend. The 2nd one we went on we got this horse named Max and he was beautiful and we loved him! We took an hour ride along Superior that night.

Well then the next night we had a few drinks at dinner and were walking back to our hotel when we saw him sitting there again so we went on an 1 and a half ride that time. It was so relaxing!

We stayed for 3 days and had a great time. But then we had to come home back to reality lol..........

I also bought this really cute hoodie with a zipper and I LOVE it, I now wish I would have bought more different colors. I told hubby we will have to go back for a weekend so I can go to this little shop again ;)

Well I decided to make him a "Love" book that really ended up costing me a lot more then I thought it would. And took about 10 hours total to complete but it was so worth it! He loved it! It is one of those priceless presents only your heart could make. There was lots of sweet nothings, quotes, letters, funny things, ect.

Well two of the pages just happened to be IOU's so I thought I would show Marina.  I used my imagination on mine so they are not as clean as hers suggest lol. I hope they are appropiate to put on my journal lol So here they are ;)

There is velcro on the pages and on the back of each IOU ;)

There were a total of 40 some pages in all. At the end of it I added happy birthdays from all our kids ;)

More funny pages.....


Hopefully I did not offend anyone! :) I do not think that many people read my journal yet lol. Either way tho this is who I am and love to share photos of my life on this journal.

just in time laptop froze.... part two

Do you ever have days you feel just like that picture? I do! Almost everyday! I forget to take care of myself alot of the time. 4 nights ago I was taken by ambulance to the hospital at 2:30 in the morning. I felt like I was having a heart attack. My blood presssure was sky high and my potassium and sodium levels were very low. I was there for about 14 hours and was used as a pin cushion the whole time!

In my eyes that was my body warning me to start taking care of myself a little better. Slow down a little bit. I am the queen of multi-tasking and doing a whole lot of things in a short period of time that would leave others saying "How does she do that in 4 hours? It would take me 2 days".

I have a funny one tho to share. I have about 40 pounds extra on me that I really wish would go away so with that in mind here is how this conversation with the admitting ER Doc went.....

Him....."Your name"


and we go thru the normal list of questions birthday, ect,

Him...."Do you smoke?"


Him......"Do you use crack or cocaine?"

Me.....I crack up and start laughing out loud and say to him

"Do I look like I use crack? Got a little extra padding on me to be a crackhead!" lol

Him after my response..... no smirk, or anything no kind of sense of humor lmao


If you liked that one heres another good one.

I got into a car accident two Fridays ago on the 11th. A dipstick ran straight threw a red light going 50 and hit me. I was very shaken up and didn't think I was hurt, but an hour later after my truck got towed and I got home and showered I realized I really didn't feel so good at all. My sister in Law came down to my house and brought (made me) me to Urgent Care. I was lucky it could have turned out way worse! And my kids were not with me thank goodness. I went tanning to have some "me" time for 30 minutes. Then stopped at Kohls on the way home for nothing special just felt like buying something. Well I was totally relaxed and 30 minutes later my trucks being towed. GRRRR hate it when that happens!

So by the time we got to Urgent Care I was pretty sore, and my ribs really hurt. Nothing was broken I was just banged up and had some bruised ribs. So here is the goodie I was talking about ;)

....... He is doing the reflex tests, ect..... and I was pretty tired and out of it. It was after midnight by this time. The accident happened at 8:30.

Doc....."Follow my finger" So I was told after the fact

Me...."You want me to pull your finger??"

I realized immediately what I had said and my SIL looked up and we both started cracking up.

Then the poor doc turns bright red and starts laughing his ass off too!  It took us all a bit to regain composure lol

So as I was leaving he looks around the corner and says....

"thanks for the laugh Robyn, I will not forget that one for awhile!"


Now that I am started here is just a few cute things my daughter has said to me over the years that stick out in my head.

"Mommy where were you when your bladder broke all over that chair with me?"   Referring to me going into labor lol

"Do you want anymore babies mommy?" "Or do you have your tubes twisted so you can't?" lol


Thats enough of the stories lol.

On top of the accident and heart attack scare my hubby and I are really struggling right now. Once I am more comfortable with this journal and meet some people I may talk about it a little more. But my life has so much history to go with every incident that I cannot comment on one thing without explaining so it makes it hard. I just will say that we have been together 8 years and life has taken it's toll on us as a couple. I love this man with every inch of my heart. But when you start hurting each other more then you do love each other and support each other.   It may be time to let go.

Well I am off to sleep now I am so tired! Gnite